My Movie Making Nightmares - Part Deux

Less than two months after I shot my first short film, I auditioned for and was cast in two feature length digital movies.   Digital has changed everything.  Now anyone with a video camera can make their own movies...AAAAAANNNNNNDD they do.  We are talking extremely low budget here.  And since I was non-union with little on camera experience, I did these movies for the footage for a reel.

 

The first film was produced by a young man with his own production company. His sister ran the auditions and did all the paperwork (i.e. signing your life away since there is no union jurisdiction) and she was also the caterer (she did all the cooking).  The film was shot on location in a vacant flower shop in Pomona, California, which is about 40 miles east of LA! The flower shop in effect was our studio, but only until December 5^th, at which point it would reopen for the holiday season to sell poinsettias. Exteriors were shot in the alley behind the shop where some homeless people had set up a little cardboard shantytown. Oh! Did I mention that our director’s father worked as the accountant for the florists’ owners?

 

The movie was about a young guy who has taken a job as a production assistant on a low budget vampire flick.  It’s his first day on the set and shows all the characters involved in the making of the movie and actual scenes from the vampire movie.  I played the part of the director of photography who speaks very softly, so softly in fact that no one can understand him when he speaks, except for our leading man, the PA.  I had a supporting role in this one and was only required for maybe two days of filming and both of them were just a few hours long.

 

My first day, I was called at 7:30 a.m.  The only other person who was there at that hour was our makeup girl.  Our leading man showed up a few minutes later, but our director didn’t show up for about 45 minutes.  He apologized profusely.  He never did this, but he had been up late the night before since the shoot ended around midnight and then he had to go home and prepare for the next day’s shoot.   There was a third actor involved in our scene as well.  When we were in makeup, he explained that he wasn’t prepared for the scene we were shooting because he had forgot his script on the set over the weekend and so he had not prepared.  So while we were in makeup, he was running his lines.  

 

We shot the scene in the back room of the shop. It’s our leading man and me. He’s supposed to be painting some props for the next scene that’s being shot and we talk about his girlfriend and their imminent breakup.  The third actor plays the part of the director and star of the vampire film, a former 1970s action star.  He comes into the middle of the scene.  We set up, rehearse and shoot the scene up until the third actor’s entrance.  He has to enter through a door that is shut.  We get to his entrance and nothing happens.  The director calls his name, “Curtis! Are you there?”  “Yes.”  “Did you hear your cue line?”  “No!”  “ Do you know what it is? It’s…”  We do it again.  Curtis does not enter the scene.   Director to writer/producer, “Go out there and cue him.”  We shoot again.  Curtis enters.  He delivers his lines to the wrong actors.  He doesn’t know which lines are to me and which lines are to the other actor. We cut and shoot again.

 

Incidentally, his line readings are awful.  I hate to sound unkind but they were very amateur.  The director got tired of cutting so finally he just kept the camera rolling and asked the writer to give him line readings and they asked Curtis to just repeat after Erik.  It worked.  He actually sounded convincing.  

 

BTW, in order to give you an idea how low budget this film was, the director was also the director of photography and the cameraman.  There was one light instrument used in this scene.  And the battery on the camera was out of power when we started.  Yes, that’s right, real big time movie making here.  

 

I had to wonder about Curtis.  He was a nice enough guy and all but I got the impression this was all very new to him, acting that is.  But it wasn’t just that, there was something else.  A few weeks earlier, we had a table read of the script with the entire cast present.  He sat next to me.  There were words that he kept mispronouncing. Not just difficult words, but easy ones too.  I thought maybe he was a little slow, but that didn’t seem right.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized he must be dyslexic.  It was the only explanation I could come up with. At one point he leaned over and asked me what ___ was.  I told him the word and he proceeded to mispronounce it. 

 

He was supposed to be this threatening character in the movie and he had none of that when he read his lines, until he was given a line reading by the director or writer and he copied them, then he sounded menacing.  It was great.  He was a big soft-spoken man in his mid-late thirties I’d say.

 

During a break my second day of shooting, I asked the director what Curtis’ story was.  Was he in fact dyslexic? No, he apparently only had a sixth grade level education. Thank you US education system!

 

Incidentally, the second day our leading man was over an hour late!  This did not go over big with the director, who was also late that day but only by a few minutes. And then he had the same problem with the camera, the battery was dead when he started to shoot the first scene.

 

Like the previous film, I was given little direction.  I wasn’t quite sure how soft spoken I should be.  I mean I had to be heard by the audience right?  But I couldn’t be too loud or the joke would be lost.  It was more a question of the character being that indistinguishable.  So I had to play him really low key and as if he had very little personality so he just kind of blended in to the background.

Film was never finished. Never saw or heard from the director after about a year.

Next week, my magnum opus...Wally Sitch Private Dick. Oy vey!

 

My Early Adventures in Los Angeles

I recently came across some notes I wrote 16 years ago detailing my my first experiences in as an actor in LA. It was intended to be a one man show about whats it really like as a working actor in LA.  Enjoy :

I was cast in my Second short film while I was filming my first.  This time, I had one of the leads. I was very excited about it.  It was a comedy set in the Air Force.  It was sort of like Office Space set in the military.  A lot of Austin Powers type humor in it.  I really felt good about this one.  The writer-director (another hyphenate) was a young guy who worked as an engineer in the Air Force.  He had just gone to film school and this was his first film. The story was based on his experiences on the job.

 

I played the antagonist of the piece, an ineffectual boss who stands in the way of getting the job done.  His name was Maj. Oscar Meyer.  That’s right, like the hot dog.  He was a brownnoser who treated his subordinates like dirt and kissed up to his superiors.  One of the running gags was that he had brown stuff on his nose whenever he came out of a meeting with his superiors.

 

It was a lot of fun, but there were also many problems.  The film was shot on location in an office in downtown LA.  Like the previous film, we only shot over the course of two weekends because everyone had full time jobs. Two of the main scenes were shot in a meeting room, which had glass walls on either side.  In the first scene, the one wall was covered with green screen for some special effects shooting.  There were two cameras being used simultaneously and combined with the glass and the lights, it took a few hours for the scene to be lit properly.

 

Two of the actors were not called until later in the day.  One of them, had requested permission to leave early because he had plans that night. He wanted to leave around 7:00 p.m.  He was not called until about 3:00 p.m.  He and his scene partner were there on time and were not called to the set until after 6:00 p.m.  He was not happy.  He had less than an hour.  He was all flustered and he kept forgetting his lines.  All he was thinking about was the fact that he had to get out of there.  We did take after take, and he kept blowing his lines.  Finally, at 7:15 he announced he was leaving.  He told the director he had to be out of there by 7:00.  And he left.  We continued to shoot the scene around him.

 

Now what got all of us, was this.  This is a man who has been in the business for over 20 years and knows how things work.  When you’re shooting a movie, especially a non-union or low budget film like this, you know you’re going to be there all day and night. Why would schedule something for that evening.  The director should not have granted permission to him.  Secondly, what the hell was he doing for three hours!  I mean he was there from 3:00 to 6:00 and then he gets on set and keeps blowing his lines.  He should have been running lines with his scene partner instead of complaining about not being able to get to his date on time.

 

That actor was fired between weekend one and weekend two of shooting. Fortunately, his big scene was not scheduled to shoot until the second weekend.  It turns out, he had been trouble all along.  We had a rehearsal on location a couple of nights before shooting began and he fought the director on every bit of direction he gave him.

 

While we’re on that subject, let’s talk about the direction you get as an actor on a student, short and/or low budget indie film…not much.  It’s pretty much left up to the actor, unlike stage.  I had to make all my own choices and quickly.  I’m not saying that as a stage actor I depend completely on the director.  I do make my own choices, but you do have that long rehearsal period in which you can explore and work together on finding the character.  That doesn’t exist in film and many film directors don’t work much with their actors.  You have to come in prepared and with your character there.  It was a struggle.  In my case, it was doubly difficult because I felt I my acting was too big or stagy if you will.  But no one was correcting me, so it must be all right.  Still, I couldn’t help editing myself. In fact, it was my “staginess” that got me the part.  The director wanted someone who was more theatrical in his or her acting style.  This did not fill me with confidence.  Was I too “stagy”?  I must do something about that. I must tone it down.  Once again, I was not pleased with the final result on film. I swear I gave a better performance than what ended up on film. He seemed to choose the one take where I didn’t say the line the exact way I said it in every other take.  

 

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience.  I liked most of the other actors.  I thought it was a funny movie and it was a great part for me.  The final product wasn’t the best quality.  There were some pretty cheesy looking cuts and edits in the movie that reeked of amateur filmmaking.  I felt the script was really funny when I read it, but then on screen, it didn’t look so good.  Chalk it up to experience.

 

Next Week

Part Two: My first starring role in a feature! What could possibly go wrong?

Amish Acres Memories - My Past is Vanishing

The decade started and ended with the closings theaters I worked at. January 2010 saw the closing of The Carousel Dinner Theatre in Akron, Ohio and January 2020 saw the closing of Amish Acres. As I get older the places I worked close (The Sears, Kmart, and Gap stores I worked at are gone. Filene's and Carl's went out of business. Moody's Investors Service and the NFL in NYC have moved to new locations) The people I worked for pass away or retire. Pretty soon I'll have no history! I'm old!!!

Amish Acres. Some interesting stories.
1) I wasn't planning to audition for them. I went to an audition for Seymour in Little Shop for a dinner theatre in New Jersey at the Musical Theatre Works studios on Lafayette in the Village right across from the Public Theatre. They had three floors of studios. I ran into an acquaintance (I don't remember his name other than he was the boyfriend of Gabrielle Mason and I sublet their apartment on West 95th Street for a couple of months). He was also auditioning for Little Shop and told me that one floor up they were having auditions for the season at a place called Amish Acres.
So I went upstairs and signed up, looked at their brochures, (looked like a nice place), sang for them and got a callback for later that afternoon. I called in to my job at Moody's Investors Service and told them I would not be coming that day.
I went back later that afternoon and was given sides to read for the part of Dan King in Plain and Fancy. Jerry O'Boyle the artistic director said he was looking for a Dick Van Dyke type of vibe for the scene. And then he said something like, "Richard Van Slyke, Dick Van Dyke. I just got that!"  I was told they would be making calls in a couple of weeks. A month went by nothing happened. I had written it off.

2) I thought my casting might be an April Fools joke. Monday April 1, I'm sitting at my desk at Moody's Investor's Service and I get a call from my answering service (or it may have been voicemail by then. This was 1996). An actor had quit and they needed a replacement for the role of Dan King. It would mean flying out to South Bend on Sunday and starting rehearsals on Monday the 8th.

I would be playing Dan King in Plain and Fancy, Ike Skidmore in Oklahoma!, The Rabbi's son in Fiddler, the brothers parts in Joseph would be decided at a later date, and I wasn't sure I wanted to stay beyond October to do Annie, but he was thinking maybe Daddy Warbucks.

I packed up over the next few days. Sunday the 7 was also Easter and the start of Daylight Savings and there was a one hour time difference from NY. All those combined, lets just say I got about two hours of sleep. And with no one to sublet my apartment, I was scared I wouldn't be able to get by financially. But off I went.

I flew to South Bend where I was picked up buy the company manager, Sara Heigaard, who also played my leading lady Ruth in Plain and Fancy. Then, we had a 45 minute drive to Nappanee where I would be spending the next six possibly 9 months.

Amish Acres sits about 1 mile west of Nappanee, a small town population @6600. One grocery store, one co-op, one movie theatre with one screen that only showed movies on Friday and Saturday nights. Restaurants included, McDonalds, Burger King, Subway, Dairy Queen, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. There was also a Chinese buffet place, a pizza place (that closed and re-opened as something else), a country kitchen, a sports pub, a bakery café only open days, a tavern. Then there was the Restaurant Barn on the property where we got one meal a day in the kitchen if we chose.

There wasn't much to do there and for an actor flown in from NYC with no car, not fun. There were three of us hired from NYC, Gene Westbrook, Cece Pleasants and myself. Most everyone else in the cast house came from Chicago, AJ Wester, Derek Phipps, Cindy Lawrence, Joe Lehman, Robert Geils. Sara was from North Dakota.  Nine of us living in an old farm house on the Amish Acres property. And two local hires who commuted daily, Jenny Yoder and Doug Yockey. The Chicago People all came with their own cars so we had rides when we needed and if we were lucky maybe they'd loan a car to you. I often did so I could drive to Elkhart or Goshen to go to the YMCA to workout. I got a flat once driving Sari Engle's car!

There was an old bike in the pantry that I would take on Monday mornings and ride one mile to the cneter of town where two state routes crossed. There was a very nice town library where I could get Sunday's New York Times and go throught the Arts and Leisure section. I would also take pout books. I was into Armistead Maupin's Tales from the City at the time.

I was FedExed the script and score in advance of my trip and I tried my damnedest to be off book as much as possible for the first day of rehearsal. I was saved because my character was only in a couple of musical numbers. So I wasn't used for many rehearsals upfront. Which gave me time to work on my lines at home while the rest of the cast was in rehearsal. It helped! I only used my script to record my blocking and then tossed it off stage to run scenes. We only had a little over a week to put the show up. I remember going shopping in Mishawaka with Jerry to buy my suit at Value City.

Our first day off on Friday, we all drove up to Mishawaka to go out to eat and see a movie. I rode with our musical director SD Lewis who was married to our choreographer Kent Lewis at the time, They had a soon to be 3 year old daughter. Yeah, she is now 27. I'm old!

I remember discussing Annie with SD in the car.  She and Jerry had talked about me maybe playing Daddy Warbucks. I told her I was more interested in Rooster. She agreed stating that now that they had worked with me for a few days, they could see that was a better fit.

It was a fun time. Eating in the Restaurant Barn kitchen where our choices were fried chicken, turkey or ham. The store at the front of the barn sold free baked breads, cookies, pies, cheese. I would do my "grocery shopping" there and buy cookies and bread every week. That didn't last long!

Opening night of Oklahoma!, we raided the ice cream and fudge shoppe for a party back at the cast house. Here is a picture from that night with me showing off some of the cheese we scored!

Jenny Yoder hosted a Mary Kay cosmetics part at the cast house one night (see below)

And there was my 35th Birthday party (below)

My parent sent a gift basket. More cheese!

A mostly quiet group of people. We didn't go out after shows.  We would go home and watch TV and then got to bed each night. That changed as new cast members came on board and the housemates changed.

In July, we lost Joe to a Shakespeare play in Chicago and Jenny to CCM where she was entering her sophomore year.  In came my friend CoriLynn Peterson from NYC and another actor named Ryan who came from a summer stock playhouse a few miles away that went under that season. Also, Sari Engle was brought in to direct Joseph. CoriLynn and Ryan moved into the Christmas Shop on the corner across from the entrance to Amish Acres. They let them live on the second floor while the shop was downstairs.  Sara and Robert also moved across the street and Sari moved into the house with us.

Sari was very close to Jerry, Robert and Gene and we started socializing more, often going out to the local dive bar in town, where I swear to God some nights we were the only ones in there with full sets of teeth. That was the first time I had real beef jerky out of a jar on the counter.

The season was so successful that the sales department wanted another rep show for October after Joseph closed. The staff put their heads together and came up with a show that could be done with just the core company, Godspell which Sari also directed. Rich Snyder was brought into take over the role of Peter in Plain and Fancy when Ryan went back to school and to play Jesus in Godspell. I played John/Judas. It was really lovely production all tied into the site's fall harvest.

After Godspell, AJ and Cece left and a whole new crew came in to do Annie and the house became much livelier with Joby Raines, Kacy Levy, Darren Murrell and my friend Jason Mosher.  With only one show to perform and none to rehearse, we went out more often. And this crowd was also more of late night group. Remember the late nights playing video games? Was it Nintendo? I don't know!

Closing night party of Plain and Fancy when we all took turns shaving Gene's head for his upcoming role of Daddy Warbucks in Annie with the razor we all chipped in to get him for his birthday.  Poor Gene. He thought it would be fun but it really got to him. He has a beautiful full head of hair. It was hard. Fortunately, it all grew back.

I played FDR. Jerry gave me a CD of FDR radio speeches to listen to, specifically the "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" speech, which was the very first line I spoke in the show. Darrin as Harold Ickes was responsible for pushing me around in the wheelchair. I remember getting a blocking note at one rehearsal and saying to Sari, "Why are you giving me the note? I just sit here. Give it to Darrin. He's the one who moves me. " LOL

And that poor dog we recruited to be Sandy. Not a stage trained dog. LOL It was the groudnskeeper's dog. He was a sweet dog. I was the official handler and basically I had to tell the entire cast to stay out of the wings when the dog was on stage otherwise, he would go towards them no matter how many Annie had in her cardigan pockets.

Oh my God! and there there was the night one of the orphans asked if I wanted my neck adjusted. And before I could say a word, she took my head and jerked it and snapped my neck. Yeah. That happened.

The day after we closed Annie, Gene and I packed up CoriLynn's car and drove back to NYC, (CoriLynn rode back with Jason).  It was a 13 hour drive. We got into NYC about midnight the night before New Years Eve. Long drive.

I'm All Shook Up

Hi there! It's been awhile. What have I been up to? Well, I've been back in San Diego performing in San Diego Musical Theatre's (SDMT) production of the Elvis Presley musical All Shook Up. I play Jim Haller the leading lady's father. It's a fun role and its a great showcase for me.  I've had a blast. Yesterday was our final performance and now I'm back in Los Angeles and reality.

Fan artwork of our cast. 

But first, let me backtrack. I was approached by the artistic director about a month before the auditions to come in for the role Jim. Well, I wasn't familiar with the role so I did some online research and saw it is a nice role with a decent story so I said yes.  I went to the callbacks and knew as soon as I was reading the sides that this part was written for me. I got the part!

I went into this show thinking, "This is great. It's going to play to my comedic strengths, really allow me to be big and goofy. I can really do something with this part." And while that is true to an extent, I realized quickly that while I have a couple of really funny moments in the show, my character actually has a very sweet, touching story line.

First, let me say that I love working at SDMT. They put on superior productions. The casts are always amazing as are the staff and crew. And I did have fun backstage with this crew.  And I had fun onstage.  I got to play all the emotions from sad and lonely to head over heels in love and giddy to heartbroken and it felt great. I got laughs. I got tears. My favorite thing was when the audience would audibly say "Awwww" after I get rejected by the object of my affection.

Here's an example:

This job was a gift. I got to do everything I love on stage. Sing, dance, be goofy and get laughs and then play some nice tender, sweet moments.  It was a gift. I said that before. It bears repeating. I've been in dozens of shows over the years. I have many, many favorites among them. I have been very lucky that way.

I gave up a very nice paying job a couple years ago because I wasn't happy and I HAD to pursue acting full time. It is the one thing in my life that brings me joy. And sometimes we as actors forget that. We get bogged down in the business side of show business. The constant auditions and overwhelming rejection, the ridiculous insecurity and struggle to survive on little or no income. it sucks. It's tough. I struggle every day. There are days when I just don't know if I can keep going. This is why I do theater. It brings me joy. I can be somebody I can't be in life.

My favorite place to be in the whole world is in the wings backstage watching the show. One of my rituals is to go onstage by myself behind the closed curtain before the show starts, listening to the audience on the other side. (Oh. I also use that time to stretch because at my age, if I don't stretch before a show...well let's just say it saves me some pain later). Why did you have me on my knees so much?! God, were my legs stiff every morning!

Another joy, watching younger actors grow in the process. So proud to work alongside and watch them discover and grow as artists. This cast was amazing from top to bottom. Not a weak link in the bunch. All so very hard working and professional. 💗

So thank you to Jill, Robert (so glad we got to work together), Neil (the first person to cast and direct me at SDMT), Ron, Steve, Heather, Jessica, Max, Janet, Amy, Preston, Crystal, Jaz, Andrew, Don, Michael, Erin and Gary.

Richard

Another Midlife Crisis (What? Again?)

So let's get up to speed here...

Last June I left my full-time job to free up my life for my acting career. It was a difficult choice and one I had been debating for years. I had money in the bank, I had a nice nest egg in my retirement plan and 401(k). I figured if worse came to worse, if I went through my savings, I could dip into my retirement plan. I could find part-time work. Bottom line: I wouldn't end up on the streets.

Its now been almost a year and I've learned some things. I don't like not having a full-time job.  It's tough getting up in the morning and not having a place to go. I feel I need that structure (routine) in my life. Without it, I feel somewhat aimless, lost. So set some goals, Richard. Create your own structure.

But in addition to that, I no longer have a group of people that I see and work with every day. People to talk to and share with. Its gone. It contributes to my feeling of aimlessness. I feel alone.

I went through almost my savings within six months because I didn't work much during that time. Then, in January I started working a couple of part-time jobs which cover most of my monthly expenses but not all. The part-time jobs offer me flexibility which I like very much. I can pretty much make my own schedule which is great for the acting career because it gives me the freedom to go to any auditions I want and work around those auditions. But the hourly rates are less than what I was making even 20 years ago and no benefits.

I pay for my own medical now and since I took early retirement rather than quitting I am able to keep my old dental and vision plans, (I could have done the same with my medical but it was ridiculously expensive!). I rolled over my retirement plan and 401(k) into an IRA. Like I said its there if I need it but it will come at a cost  if I withdraw since I am under 60.

My rent has gone up...again so there's an added expense there. No problem, I'll look for cheaper place olive. Nope. Rents are going up everywhere unless I want to downsize of move further out from central LA.  I'm doing that...yet.

I withdrew some money from my IRA a couple months back and put it in my savings account to help me out because I wasn't working many hours at the time and I had gone through my savings. But then I booked a commercial and then a couple weeks later got my tax refunds so no need to dip into the savings just yet. Meanwhile, I've increased my hours with both part-time jobs so I'm bringing home more money. Far less than what I'm used to but I'm still here.

But what's freaking me outs this...the first six weeks of this year I had 10 commercial auditions. I was called back for five of them and then placed on avail for 3 of those five callbacks. Amazing! Three on avails in one month. That's never happened to me before. And I booked one of those. Yes!

But then after that, nothing. March and April were dead. I've had a couple auditions in the last couple of weeks so I feel a little better. But man this is tough. I'm in a panic. Maybe I shouldn't have left the job. Umm, yes! I should have! I was miserable.  Do I get another job so I have three? Increase the number of hours I drive for Instacart? I do make decent money some shifts, like @ $22/hour. But then other shifts I'll average $15/hour.  If I can make $250 - $280 in 16 - 19 hours, I can make $400 - $500 in 40, right? But do I want to do that, drive around the valley for 40 hours a week?

The other job, merchandising, is nice because I work by myself and can do the work whenever I want as long as its done by the deadline and I usually have a 1 - 3 week window to complete my assignments. But it doesn't pay much.  So do I look for a new gig? If so, what?

What's amazed me is how the universe has provided. For instance, the timing of booking the commercial. It happened a couple times before as well.  Right when I was running low on funds in September, I got five weeks of contract work with my former employer. Then, in November a commercial I made a year earlier was renewed for another year so I got a nice paycheck for that and then some independent work from some friends. So I'm learning to trust the universe more.  I'm a year into this new chapter in my life and I'm doing okay.

As for the rest, I spend a lot more time alone. I've always done theater and I think Ive used that as an excuse form black of social life. Or rather, its always been a substitute for a social life. And I decided recently to cut back on doing theater to keep myself available for TV and commercial work. So as a result, I'm not interacting with people so much anymore.  Not having the income I once had, I'm less likely to go out and spend money like I was. And working independently makes me miss the daily interaction with my co-workers. It's lonely when you work for yourself and without anyone else.

I chose this path. This is the one I wanted and I'm doing it. I told myself a long time ago that I knew if worse came to worse I would not starve and I would not end up on the streets because I am smart and in good health. There's a lot I can do. It just scares me being alone in this and not knowing what's next.

When to join SAG. That is the question.

So its been a month.
A month since I closed The Full Monty. A month since I shot my commercial (which is now airing thank you very much) and a month since I've had a single audition. Yup. A whole month of nothing. A big fat nothing.

After busting my ass with auditions for the fits six weeks of 2018, I have had nothing at all. But that's the nature of the business. Its either feast or famine. Always has been. I've been through this before. But still, it always makes me think..."What am I doing wrong?" or better still, "What can I be doing differently?"

I hate these slow periods. What do I do to keep myself going creatively? Well, I can write. Which is kind of the point of these blogs...to keep my creative juices flowing. I can vocalize and sing. I'm thinking about putting together another cabaret act. Its been about five years since my last one. I haven't vocalized regularly in a long time.  All my voice lessons are on cassette tapes and my last cassette player died a couple years ago. So I recently purchased a tape to digital converter off of Amazon and voila! I know have my voice lessons on my computer. No more excuses.

On to the title of this blog, SAG.  Why is that there? Well, because I am not a SAG member. Nor have I ever been. I am SAG eligible and have been for about a dozen  years since I was Taft Hartleyed on a commercial. But I have never booked another SAG job since. Now eligible means that I can join at any time. I don't have to yet but I can.  It also means that I can audition for SAG jobs. Which is why agents tend to say wait until you have to join before joining it's the best of both worlds they can submit you for both union and non-union work. And also because I make money doing non-union commercials, it makes sense to stay non-union.

And then, more and more work is going non-union. So more and more SAG actors are going financial core, which means they can work non-union jobs. This means they are fee paying non-members. You're still a SAG member but you lose your voting rights and the right to participate in SAG events, seminars, etc.

But I have also been in this business for a couple of decades and I am a man of, shall we say,  a certain age. Managers say why is someone this age still non-union?

I ask myself, is it keeping me from getting further in my career. Am I not getting auditions for TV shows and union commercials because it doesn't say SAG on my resume? Well, not really because I DO get those auditions, just not often. This last year, I had 7 episodic TV auditions, and the last few went very well. I booked the room as they say. One office called me back a second time and all the casting people in the room laughed at my one line. So I know I booked the room if not the job.

Also, it costs $3,300 just to join the union. That's just to join. Then there's annual dues on top of that. Who has $3,300 lying around? Not me.  So, if I join will I get those auditions I so desperately want? Or will I see even less activity because so many commercials now use non-union talent?

That is the dilemma and why agents want me to stay non-union. But I can't help wondering if I might get to the next level if I go SAG.

What do you think? Post your comments in the comments section of this blog. I'd love to know what you think.

Going The Full Monty...Again

This past weekend I opened in The Full Monty at San Diego Musical Theatre as Harold Nichols. Opening night was electric. It felt amazing considering it was a very daunting experience. Six men getting buck naked every night. It's scary. I've done the show before, but it was still scary.

Yes, that is actually the six of us on our stage.

Fortunately, our production team made sure that the six men in the cast felt safe. We were supported by our entire cast from day one. We rehearsed the show for two weeks in a rehearsal space and then moved into the theater for 10 days of rehearsals prior to opening night. We did not strip all the way until two nights before our preview performance in a closed rehearsal with no one but the director, choreographer, and dance captain present.

Coming off stage after the final bows and running upstairs and down the hall to our dressing room was an amazing feeling. Our entire cast was cheering us on as we ran down the hall. The six of us share one dressing room at the far end of the hall from the stairs down to the stage. Once we were all present, I broke out a bottle of champagne for the six of us to toast ourselves on a successful opening. We earned it. We've shared a unique experience with one another that no one else can share with us. We're in it together...a team.

One of our show posters in front of the theater.

Another poster in front. 

I've done the show before so it was not my first time. So I was not as scared of the final moment in the show as some of the others in this cast. I did the show ten years ago in a small 99-seat theatre production in Los Angeles. A very different experience to say the least. A much smaller theater with a much smaller budget and none of the lighting effects typically used for that final moment of the show.  That was a very special experience for me. I had wanted to play the role of Harold since seeing it on Broadway. And our little L.A. production almost didn't happen. But through a series of fortunate events (a benefactor) and good old fashioned "the show must go on chutzpah" we did it. I'm still very close with most everyone from that cast. Getting naked in front of them every weekend will do that. It remains one of the best theatrical experiences I have ever had and one of my favorite roles I've ever played. I've always wanted to play Harold again.

So here I am 10 years later playing the role in a bigger theater on a much bigger scale. What's different? Well, I'm ten years older. I have arthritis in some of my joints. I get stiff.  My knees bother me. I don't learn choreography as quickly as I once did. The steps come to me fairly quickly, its memorizing the sequence that takes some time. It's frustrating to me because I've always put pressure on myself to be perfect. And I am not perfect. Not even close. My body doesn't work with the agility it used to.

When people hear you are doing The Full Monty, they automatically assume its about the strip. But its not. Its the ultimate underdog story. Six very different men all down on their luck come together and create something. It's about the journey. Not the destination. The audience is so caught up in the adventure that by the time we get to that final moment, they want the men to go all the way. Its not about the strip, its about them following through on what they set out to do despite all the setbacks.

The view of the stage from the back of the house.

And it feels so good to play that story and to go through that emotional roller coaster six times a week. This cast. These six men are so perfectly cast and all bring something amazing to the show. And the actresses playing the women in our lives couldn't be more wonderful and supportive. There is a lot of love and support from everyone backstage that includes the whole cast and our crew at The Horton Grand Theatre. This is why I wanted to do this show again. The love. The story. I hope if you're in Southern California, you'll come and see us.

We run through February 25. Link below to tickets:

San Diego Musical Theatre

A Look Back at 2017

On New Years, people make lists. They look back at the last year and list their top 10s or just reflect on the highs and lows of the past year and make resolutions or perhaps set goals for the next year.

I am not one for making New Years' resolutions.  Why use the first of a new year as a reason to make changes or improvement in my life?  It should be ongoing.  Right? However, the end of the year can't help but make you reflect on the past year. And so much has changed in my life this past year, I do want to take stock of where I was and where I am.

I spent all of 2017 working in the theater. And I got to play a variety of roles in various genres. I started the year playing (don't laugh!) Cornelius Hackl in Hello Dolly. The reason you may be hearing about for the first time here is because it was for a one-weekend only church benefit cast mostly with church regulars and I was one of the pros brought into the production.  You may scoff at me playing Cornelius at my age but based on the age of the other actors, it worked and I got to check off a dream role from my bucket list. Cornelius is the heart and sole of this show and I got sing a beautiful, ballad, dance and show off my comedy skills.

I went straight from Hello Dolly to 42nd Street at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont.  I had a great time working there and may some new friendships that have lasted beyond the run of that show. I played Pat Denning and while not a huge role and once again I was back in a musical in an almost non-singing role, Pat Denning sings about 16 bars of one song. But he does play a pivotal part in the plot as Dorothy Brock's love.  I played opposite the wonderful Sarah Meals as Dorothy and I know I'll be back to Candlelight in the future.

While performing in 42nd Street, I began rehearsals for Hello Again, the musical which I directed at Chromolume Theatre in the spring. It was a big challenge. Not only is it rarely produced but it is the compete opposite of a Broadway blockbuster like the previous two shows.  And as is typical of me, I had some pretty serious doubts that I could pull it off. But I did.

While in rehearsals for Hello Again, I heard from two other theaters in town asking if I would be interested in auditioning for their upcoming shows. Crown City Theatre in North Hollywood was producing an original play written by one of their Co-Artistic Directors. Somewhere in the Middle was a comedy-drama about a Jewish-Catholic family whose college-age daughter brings home a black, Palestinian, Muslim fiancé to meet the family on Passover. Think Norman Lear 1970s sitcom. I played the father and I loved being able to play a straight role as the patriarch of a family.  We got great reviews and extended for a couple weekends.

And finally, I was asked to audition for the part of the Old Man in a stage adaptation of A Christmas Story, not the musical recently seen on FOX, but a straight play based on Jean Shepherd's stories. We opened in mid-November and closed on New Years Eve. The show was amazing. We sold out almost the entire run. The set, props and costumes were all top notch and the reviews were all raves. And best of all I had a role that was a real showcase for my talents. It was probably the most physically demanding role I have ever had. I was constantly out of breath backstage early in the run but as the run progressed, I noticed I wasn't as out of breath. And I lost some weight. Like seriously, my pants are hanging off of me.

And next, to start 2018, I return to one of my favorite roles of all time, Harold in The Full Monty, opening January 26 at San Diego Music Theatre and running through February 25. I start rehearsals tomorrow. Its a great to start the new year.

As I look back at last year, one word comes to mind...GRATEFUL. Look at the parts I played this year. All very different. Big budget musicals, small family dramas and comedies. I got to stretch my acting muscles and play so many different roles.

But the biggest step I took this year was quitting my job of 11 years so I could focus on my acting. Scary. Risky. Some might say Bold, maybe even crazy. Time will tell. I am scared but I also know that if I want to make a living as an actor, I need to focus on that and nothing else.

My goal this year is to book some co-stars on TV. I'm already off to a decent start with some auditions in the last couple of months. Based on the words listed at the top of this blog, what shows would you cast me in? Let me know in the comments section of this blog.

Thanks and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Next Chapter

I've been keeping this one to myself...mostly.  As of two days ago, it became official. I am no longer employed full-time. Now this news is likely to concern some people. But the simple truth of the matter is I was miserable. Absolutely, 100%, out of my mind, trapped like a rat in a maze I couldn't get out of and afraid if I didn't do something soon I would crack and lose it miserable. There were some very, VERY low times in the last few years. I had to get out of there.  And after years of contemplating, debating, discussing, threatening, ruminating, I finally took the step and gave my notice about two and half months ago.

Friday, I left my job of nearly 11 years. That's the longest I've worked anywhere and its been great for me financially. I've put some money away. I've got a nice retirement plan/401(k). I have a nice car. I live in a nice place and typically don't have to worry about my expenses. For all of that, I am extremely grateful. But my mental state was not good.

I moved here from NYC to further pursue my acting career on TV and in film. And when I came here I told myself, if I didn't succeed as an actor then come hell or high water I would work in the entertainment industry no matter what. So, how did I end up working in Legal Compliance for a large finance firm in downtown LA? First off, I wasn't aware that anyone moved to LA for anything other than TV or film. I mean why move here. That's all that's here, right?

So I came. I started temping almost immediately and was placed at one of the big studios. I got an agent. I went out on commercial auditions. I did theater. I did some really (And I mean REALLY) low budget movies. I temped at that studio for well over two years. And then it came to an end, but I was immediately called by another temp agency that saw my resume online and was placed within days of leaving my last temp assignment at the studio at a finance firm in Pasadena for two weeks. It lasted over three months. And then the day after that assignment ended, another agency called that also found my resume online. The next day I went to their office and registered and the following day interviewed at the finance firm downtown and two days later started as a temp. And here I am 11 years and three promotions later....burnt out.

You see at the same time, I was working in the theater...almost constantly. In two or three shows a year.  And also going out on commercial and TV auditions. In recent years, its been tough to juggle. I'll go out on an audition during the work day and usually I'm back within an hour and a half. But every once in a while, I'm gone two hours, two and half hours. And every once in a while, my boss would notice and call me in wanting to know where I was. Stress. Anxiety. Anyone who knows me knows I can't handle a) stress, b) people not liking me and c) not being a perfect worker/employee/son/student/brother etc. I have to be perfect always, the good boy, the one who follows the rules and never does anything wrong. I cannot make mistakes, ever! It's a lot of pressure.

So take all this into an audition and well, you get the picture.  As I sit there in the waiting room, I'm checking the clock. Why is this taking so long? NO! Don't take a bathroom break. I have to get back to work! What if I get stuck in bad traffic? How will I explain myself?

I don't need that energy at an audition. Now, I'll be honest, once I'm in the audition room, I leave all that outside.  But as soon as I am out that door, I am OUT that door.  The stress of trying to juggle the full-time job and the auditions was too much. Now, I may go weeks without an issue but then I'll go through a stretch where I may have a couple of weeks with multiple auditions and me coming and going from work. Not so great. And lastly, I'm not 22 anymore! I'm exhausted all the time.

I need some rest. I need to relax and I need to give myself some time to prepare for each audition.
I'm not independently wealthy and I will need to find another way to support myself. But at this point, I'm looking for something part-time so I can have some flexibility.  I don't know what it will be just yet. I may open a store, or a franchise, or maybe work as a professional organizer. I'd like to teach acting to kids. Or maybe I'll just work as a barista at Starbucks. Who knows?

So if any of you know of a job or want to hire someone for some work around the house, let me know. I'm available.

The Career that Giveth and Taketh Away - Acting: It's not for the faint of heart

So far 2017, has been a mixed bag. I was excited coming into 2017 having booked roles in two films. A small but fun a part in a low budget parody film and a significant role in a USC film school student film.

I was especially looking forward to the student film because it would give me an opportunity to play against type. I typically play ineffective middle management or authority figures or goofy dads/neighbors, etc.  In this, I was to play a sympathetic single dad to a gay teen son who is being bullied into a sexual relationship with another teen who threatens to out him. I was really looking forward to it. A week before Christmas, I was sent the shoot dates and I told them I was fine but I had a day job and would not be available during the week. A couple weeks later, I received emails confirming the shoot dates and times, transportation information and costume measurements.  I made arrangements to take a day off for one day of filming. I worked on my lines.

And then the day before I was due to shoot, I received an email telling me that due to my last minute notification to them of my limited schedule, they could not use me. What?! Exactly, what was last minute? I told them as soon as they notified me of the shoot dates. They never said word one that there was a problem. They sent me a shoot schedule for Friday Saturday and Sunday. I took Friday off form work.  They were in constant contact with me, adding me to the contact list, asking about dietary restrictions, talking with the wardrobe supervisor about wardrobe. No clue.

I wasn't sure how to react. I mean I was really looking forward to this. It was a great opportunity for me to show something I haven't on film yet. I sent an email asking if they had the right person. Or wondering what had happened. I was too impatient to wait for a response, so I called the student the email came from. I asked her what was going on. She said because I had conflicts they couldn't use me. ME: But you never said anything to me. I've been responding to all the emails you've sent regarding wardrobe, transportation, dietary restrictions, etc. You sent me a filming schedule on December 18 and I emailed back that I had a day job, so weekdays could be a conflict,. You then sent me a shoot schedule with shoot days of Friday Saturday and Sunday. I took Friday off from work to shoot. Not once did anyone say, three was a scheduling issue. You lead me to believe those were my shoot dates. If you had called me, I could have changed my schedule to fit your shoot schedule. And now the day before the shoot you tell me to my late notice of conflicts. What late notice? I told you three weeks ago as soon as you sent the shooting dates.  HER: Well, we really loved your audition. We thought you were great. But we can only have the location for certain days and can't change it and our lead actor is only available certain times and couldn't change his schedule. ME: But you didn't tell me any of this. You've been communicating with me as if I had the part. HER: Well, we have someone else. ME: I thanked them for their time and wished them good luck with the project.

Frustrating! Did I mention I really wanted to play that part?

Film number two was also supposed to shoot in January. So far, I've heard nothing since I accepted the part and they sent me a copy of the script. It's now February. I'm beginning to feel like that might not happen. So a few days ago I sent an email asking if there were any updates on the filming.  I've gotten no response back. Its been four days.

Oh Acting Career, you giveth and you taketh away.

These are the joys of being an actor.  You feel good one day and then down the next,. You're only as good as your most recent work. And your self-esteem is so low that if you're not working, you feel pretty low. It's been a slow commercial audition period for me as well. So of course, my esteem is low presently.

Now on to the positive!

Tonight, I am opening a show on stage that I am very excited to be a part of. And it's going to be a really good one! 42nd Street at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont, CA. If you're in the neighborhood, come and see those dancing feet. It's going to be so good.

2016 A Year in Review

Much has been said and made about 2016.  All the famous deaths, the election. It has not been a good year.  Many feel that 2017 can't get here soon enough. And who can blame then? I'm not going to go into it here. So many others have done that. Let's just move on and take on 2017 with a positive attitude.

2016 was not my best year but not my worst either.  I took a leave from my job in the first quarter of the year to try and figure things out...I went back to work after three months. Nothing changed. Or did it? My co-workers and manager claim that my attitude/behavior has not been the same since my return. I don't know what the F they're talking about. I've been a frigging peach. F-heads! LOL! (That was a joke for this of you who don't get me.)

I thought by taking off time from work, my acting career would get a boost. It has become increasingly difficult to balance the acting career with my day job. But not much activity took place during the leave. So back to work I went. And of course days before I went back, I booked a commercial that shot on my second day back to work! Ain't that always the way?

I spent the Spring rehearsing and performing as Twimble in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying at Glendale Centre Theatre. The show received a few Scenie Awards and was nominated for some BroadwayWorldLA awards. While performing in How to Succeed, I was rehearsing The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee at Sierra Madre Playhouse which opened less than two weeks after How to Succeed closed. Spelling got unanimous raves reviews, received a few Scenes and was also nominated for a few BroadwayWorldLA awards. But no audiences. We actually cancelled two Saturday night performances!  In addition, it has received three Ovation award nominations. The awards are in two weeks and I'm very excited to attend. I've never been in a show that was nominated for Ovation Awards, despite having been in two dozen shows in Los Angeles over the last 13 years.

The week Spelling Bee closed, I was asked to jump in to rehearsals for Chico's Angels Five-0, Aloha Angels. Closing day of Spelling Bee was tech night for Chico's.  Chico's sold out before it even opened. And the audiences were loud and raucous. It was a hoot! The Angels have a built in following and it was amazing to perform for sold out houses every night.

I flew to Sydney and New Zealand for two weeks in September. I flew in a helicopter, hiked on a glacier, bathed in a hot spring, and pet a koala and a wallaby. A nice retreat from LA where the traffic seems to get worse and worse. I get so stressed out driving from work to audition to work to rehearsal.  The stress really gets to me trying to do it all. And I think as I get older its getting harder to do it all.

While in New Zealand, I got word that I had booked a commercial shooting in Denver the day after I returned to LA, on my birthday. But the flight to Denver was on the same day I flew into LA form New Zealand. Seriously. I flew into the International Terminal at 6:20 am and was scheduled to fly out of Terminal 1 at 7:35 am. I managed to get them to push me back to a later flight and left LA at 11:30am just five hours after arriving. I went home, unpacked, re-packed, and went back to LAX.

It all worked out and I got a cupcake and birthday song from the crew upon wrapping.

These last two months the commercial auditions have increased. Yay! No bookings though. But I did book two films that are shooting this coming month. I look forward to playing the understanding Dad of a teenage boy coming out and dealing with bullies in high school. A departure for me. Then I play a priest in a gay Mean Girls parody film.


Happy New Year! Here's to a better 2017! Here I am with my sisters celebrating New Years a few years ago.

Sometimes I Get Depressed

Sometimes I get depressed. No, really depressed. I feel like I'm all alone. There is no one here for me. I feel like my life has no meaning, no purpose. I'm just drifting through life. No place to go. Nothing to do.

I do like my alone time and at my age I've grown used to it. But sometimes, it gets to me. When I feel like I'm not accomplishing much in my life. When I stop and think that no one has called me in ages. When I think about the future. When I think about my day job that I absolutely hate but I have no idea what I would do if I were to quit.  And sometimes it all adds up and gets me super depressed.
And the the lack of auditions also causes me to lose confidence in my abilities as an actor. My friends on facebook are impressed with how much I do, but in my mind it's not enough. Its never enough. I'm a failure.  I'm always acting in something. Well, yes, but its not Broadway. Its not a part on a big network TV show. I'm not making a living at this.

Then I start thinking I'm not that good at this. I'll take a class for instance and there are other people in the class better than me. So clearly I'm not the best and therefore I am not loved nor liked. I'm a hack, an amateur. I'm untalented. The other actors don't have respect for or admire me.

There were times when I was younger, I would be surprised that fellow cast mates or classmates would praise me and love and laugh at everything I did. I felt like I wasn't even trying.  I didn't earn it. I couldn't understand why they liked me so much.

Is it because I'm older now? I'm not young and so I'm not cool. (BTW: I was never cool!) Maybe because I'm older, younger cast mates, etc think I'm unapproachable or I'm older and therefore secure and confident and don't need to be praised. Or why hang out with me? I'm too old. Believe me, it's not true. I'm just as insecure and lacking in self-confidence as I have ever been.

I'm thinking about not only quitting my job, but getting out of pursuing acting as a career. I'm also thinking I don't want to be in Los Angeles anymore. I don't think I like it here. The weather is nice. It's better then the Northeast, where I'm from. But where would I go? I miss NYC sometimes, but what would I do if I moved back there? And my hometown area, Albany, NY? Not crazy about the winters. And again, what would I do?

Maybe if there were someone in my life to share my life with, I would feel better about myself. Or even the feeling of a real sense of family among a group of friends. But I have none of that.

My therapist says it's good to share or to disclose your feelings so that is what I am doing here. Will this surprise some of you who know me? Perhaps. I do tend to not let on. I think you would be surprised how often and how deep this goes.  Full Disclosure: it's been really bad at times. Really bad. Not right now, but in the past.

I need a change. That's for certain. And perhaps being in class will strengthen my confidence. But right now, I'm not in a good place. This too shall pass. It always does. As soon as I book another acting gig it will probably pass. :)

Daily Vlog - An Actor's Life

New Head Shots

I recently had new head shots done. I've picked some serious photos  taken by my friend Anthony Campanella, which you can find on my fb page and my personal website.

Today, I'm trying to pick some lighter looks that I can use for commercials, musical theatre and sitcoms. Attached are some of my options. Let me know which ones you like.

Leave comments in the comments section below. All photos above courtesy of Sarah Kreig Photography.

Survival Jobs

I'm an actor. Did you know that? I am. And being an actor, I have spent a great deal of my adult life working survival jobs.

Mostly, day jobs in offices. I temped for many years in a variety of offices in a variety of fields. Every once in a while I decide that I need health care and a steady paycheck so I accept the full-time job and stay a while.

For many years, (my 20s), I worked in retail. I briefly attempted to live in New York City and pursue an acting career. I went through all my money in a couple of months. I refused to get a full-time job and only took part-time jobs that didn't pay enough. I hated the insecurity and I had no confidence in myself. I ran home to Albany, NY and my parents house and went right back into retail.

I did local theater at night. One show after another. Whenever and wherever. My retail career began to flourish. Eventually, I ended up as a buyer for a local chain of department stores. And I was really good at it. I liked it. But it was a small company and the pay was not great. My dream was to work Saks Fifth Avenue or Lord & Taylor. But then, I realized that the pressure of the corporate world would be too much.

And where I worked in Schenectady was too small time for me. I did not want to stay in Schenectady. All that time, something kept pulling at me. You have to go back to New York. Besides, the store I was working for was on its last legs. It went under about a year after I left.

So I went to NYC, but not without a job. I was a store manager for The Gap in Flushing Queens for just over a year. And then I burned out. I quit and I lost my rent controlled apartment in Kew Gardens in the same week. No job. No place to live. And in debt.

I started temping. I joined a theatre company on the East Side in Manhattan. After a few temp assignments, I ended up taking a job in the production department of the Public Finance division at Moody's Investors Service.  I took voice lessons, casting workshops, built up my resume at St. Bart's Playhouse. Eventually, I quit my full-time job and went back to temping and started getting acting work.

I briefly tried other jobs, telemarketing selling book clubs for Weekly Reader, working at men's store in SoHo... I lasted there less than a day. I walked out for lunch and didn't go back. I believe that's what they call job abandonment. I temped at a jewelry wholesaler in the Village for a few weeks where the people in the department were at war with another and putting me in the middle. I asked to be taken off that assignment.

I temped a few days a week. I worked in the men's department at Bloomingdale's nights and weekends. I auditioned. I got acting gigs. I came back to town and temped. I did long-time gigs in the Advertising Sales department at The New Yorker, the production department at Conde Nast Publishing and a couple of assignments at The NFL, which became my next full-time job when I decided it was high time I fixed the hernia I had been walking around with for about five years. I stayed there for four years while also working part-time in a couple of Broadway - NYC gift shops in the theatre district. Worked a Christmas at Lord & Taylor. Got out of debt. Lived on my own in Washington Heights. Got my Equity card. But things got stale, so I moved to Los Angeles.

More temping during the day and theater at night. A couple of years at Disney and then a couple of financial firms until I ended up in the compliance department at The Capital Group Companies in downtown LA.

I've been there almost ten years.

I've never waited tables, or tended bar or tutored or gone back to school to get licensed to do massage therapy or real estate. Just temped in offices. And I gotta tell ya, I love the benefits and the that fact that I have a pretty decent quality of life. And I do get to do theatre.

It works for me. I'm comfortable. Its not for everyone.

What do you do for survival jobs? Tell me about your worst survival jobs.