My Movie Making Nightmares - Part Deux

Less than two months after I shot my first short film, I auditioned for and was cast in two feature length digital movies.   Digital has changed everything.  Now anyone with a video camera can make their own movies...AAAAAANNNNNNDD they do.  We are talking extremely low budget here.  And since I was non-union with little on camera experience, I did these movies for the footage for a reel.

 

The first film was produced by a young man with his own production company. His sister ran the auditions and did all the paperwork (i.e. signing your life away since there is no union jurisdiction) and she was also the caterer (she did all the cooking).  The film was shot on location in a vacant flower shop in Pomona, California, which is about 40 miles east of LA! The flower shop in effect was our studio, but only until December 5^th, at which point it would reopen for the holiday season to sell poinsettias. Exteriors were shot in the alley behind the shop where some homeless people had set up a little cardboard shantytown. Oh! Did I mention that our director’s father worked as the accountant for the florists’ owners?

 

The movie was about a young guy who has taken a job as a production assistant on a low budget vampire flick.  It’s his first day on the set and shows all the characters involved in the making of the movie and actual scenes from the vampire movie.  I played the part of the director of photography who speaks very softly, so softly in fact that no one can understand him when he speaks, except for our leading man, the PA.  I had a supporting role in this one and was only required for maybe two days of filming and both of them were just a few hours long.

 

My first day, I was called at 7:30 a.m.  The only other person who was there at that hour was our makeup girl.  Our leading man showed up a few minutes later, but our director didn’t show up for about 45 minutes.  He apologized profusely.  He never did this, but he had been up late the night before since the shoot ended around midnight and then he had to go home and prepare for the next day’s shoot.   There was a third actor involved in our scene as well.  When we were in makeup, he explained that he wasn’t prepared for the scene we were shooting because he had forgot his script on the set over the weekend and so he had not prepared.  So while we were in makeup, he was running his lines.  

 

We shot the scene in the back room of the shop. It’s our leading man and me. He’s supposed to be painting some props for the next scene that’s being shot and we talk about his girlfriend and their imminent breakup.  The third actor plays the part of the director and star of the vampire film, a former 1970s action star.  He comes into the middle of the scene.  We set up, rehearse and shoot the scene up until the third actor’s entrance.  He has to enter through a door that is shut.  We get to his entrance and nothing happens.  The director calls his name, “Curtis! Are you there?”  “Yes.”  “Did you hear your cue line?”  “No!”  “ Do you know what it is? It’s…”  We do it again.  Curtis does not enter the scene.   Director to writer/producer, “Go out there and cue him.”  We shoot again.  Curtis enters.  He delivers his lines to the wrong actors.  He doesn’t know which lines are to me and which lines are to the other actor. We cut and shoot again.

 

Incidentally, his line readings are awful.  I hate to sound unkind but they were very amateur.  The director got tired of cutting so finally he just kept the camera rolling and asked the writer to give him line readings and they asked Curtis to just repeat after Erik.  It worked.  He actually sounded convincing.  

 

BTW, in order to give you an idea how low budget this film was, the director was also the director of photography and the cameraman.  There was one light instrument used in this scene.  And the battery on the camera was out of power when we started.  Yes, that’s right, real big time movie making here.  

 

I had to wonder about Curtis.  He was a nice enough guy and all but I got the impression this was all very new to him, acting that is.  But it wasn’t just that, there was something else.  A few weeks earlier, we had a table read of the script with the entire cast present.  He sat next to me.  There were words that he kept mispronouncing. Not just difficult words, but easy ones too.  I thought maybe he was a little slow, but that didn’t seem right.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized he must be dyslexic.  It was the only explanation I could come up with. At one point he leaned over and asked me what ___ was.  I told him the word and he proceeded to mispronounce it. 

 

He was supposed to be this threatening character in the movie and he had none of that when he read his lines, until he was given a line reading by the director or writer and he copied them, then he sounded menacing.  It was great.  He was a big soft-spoken man in his mid-late thirties I’d say.

 

During a break my second day of shooting, I asked the director what Curtis’ story was.  Was he in fact dyslexic? No, he apparently only had a sixth grade level education. Thank you US education system!

 

Incidentally, the second day our leading man was over an hour late!  This did not go over big with the director, who was also late that day but only by a few minutes. And then he had the same problem with the camera, the battery was dead when he started to shoot the first scene.

 

Like the previous film, I was given little direction.  I wasn’t quite sure how soft spoken I should be.  I mean I had to be heard by the audience right?  But I couldn’t be too loud or the joke would be lost.  It was more a question of the character being that indistinguishable.  So I had to play him really low key and as if he had very little personality so he just kind of blended in to the background.

Film was never finished. Never saw or heard from the director after about a year.

Next week, my magnum opus...Wally Sitch Private Dick. Oy vey!

 

My Early Adventures in Los Angeles

I recently came across some notes I wrote 16 years ago detailing my my first experiences in as an actor in LA. It was intended to be a one man show about whats it really like as a working actor in LA.  Enjoy :

I was cast in my Second short film while I was filming my first.  This time, I had one of the leads. I was very excited about it.  It was a comedy set in the Air Force.  It was sort of like Office Space set in the military.  A lot of Austin Powers type humor in it.  I really felt good about this one.  The writer-director (another hyphenate) was a young guy who worked as an engineer in the Air Force.  He had just gone to film school and this was his first film. The story was based on his experiences on the job.

 

I played the antagonist of the piece, an ineffectual boss who stands in the way of getting the job done.  His name was Maj. Oscar Meyer.  That’s right, like the hot dog.  He was a brownnoser who treated his subordinates like dirt and kissed up to his superiors.  One of the running gags was that he had brown stuff on his nose whenever he came out of a meeting with his superiors.

 

It was a lot of fun, but there were also many problems.  The film was shot on location in an office in downtown LA.  Like the previous film, we only shot over the course of two weekends because everyone had full time jobs. Two of the main scenes were shot in a meeting room, which had glass walls on either side.  In the first scene, the one wall was covered with green screen for some special effects shooting.  There were two cameras being used simultaneously and combined with the glass and the lights, it took a few hours for the scene to be lit properly.

 

Two of the actors were not called until later in the day.  One of them, had requested permission to leave early because he had plans that night. He wanted to leave around 7:00 p.m.  He was not called until about 3:00 p.m.  He and his scene partner were there on time and were not called to the set until after 6:00 p.m.  He was not happy.  He had less than an hour.  He was all flustered and he kept forgetting his lines.  All he was thinking about was the fact that he had to get out of there.  We did take after take, and he kept blowing his lines.  Finally, at 7:15 he announced he was leaving.  He told the director he had to be out of there by 7:00.  And he left.  We continued to shoot the scene around him.

 

Now what got all of us, was this.  This is a man who has been in the business for over 20 years and knows how things work.  When you’re shooting a movie, especially a non-union or low budget film like this, you know you’re going to be there all day and night. Why would schedule something for that evening.  The director should not have granted permission to him.  Secondly, what the hell was he doing for three hours!  I mean he was there from 3:00 to 6:00 and then he gets on set and keeps blowing his lines.  He should have been running lines with his scene partner instead of complaining about not being able to get to his date on time.

 

That actor was fired between weekend one and weekend two of shooting. Fortunately, his big scene was not scheduled to shoot until the second weekend.  It turns out, he had been trouble all along.  We had a rehearsal on location a couple of nights before shooting began and he fought the director on every bit of direction he gave him.

 

While we’re on that subject, let’s talk about the direction you get as an actor on a student, short and/or low budget indie film…not much.  It’s pretty much left up to the actor, unlike stage.  I had to make all my own choices and quickly.  I’m not saying that as a stage actor I depend completely on the director.  I do make my own choices, but you do have that long rehearsal period in which you can explore and work together on finding the character.  That doesn’t exist in film and many film directors don’t work much with their actors.  You have to come in prepared and with your character there.  It was a struggle.  In my case, it was doubly difficult because I felt I my acting was too big or stagy if you will.  But no one was correcting me, so it must be all right.  Still, I couldn’t help editing myself. In fact, it was my “staginess” that got me the part.  The director wanted someone who was more theatrical in his or her acting style.  This did not fill me with confidence.  Was I too “stagy”?  I must do something about that. I must tone it down.  Once again, I was not pleased with the final result on film. I swear I gave a better performance than what ended up on film. He seemed to choose the one take where I didn’t say the line the exact way I said it in every other take.  

 

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience.  I liked most of the other actors.  I thought it was a funny movie and it was a great part for me.  The final product wasn’t the best quality.  There were some pretty cheesy looking cuts and edits in the movie that reeked of amateur filmmaking.  I felt the script was really funny when I read it, but then on screen, it didn’t look so good.  Chalk it up to experience.

 

Next Week

Part Two: My first starring role in a feature! What could possibly go wrong?

I'm All Shook Up

Hi there! It's been awhile. What have I been up to? Well, I've been back in San Diego performing in San Diego Musical Theatre's (SDMT) production of the Elvis Presley musical All Shook Up. I play Jim Haller the leading lady's father. It's a fun role and its a great showcase for me.  I've had a blast. Yesterday was our final performance and now I'm back in Los Angeles and reality.

Fan artwork of our cast. 

But first, let me backtrack. I was approached by the artistic director about a month before the auditions to come in for the role Jim. Well, I wasn't familiar with the role so I did some online research and saw it is a nice role with a decent story so I said yes.  I went to the callbacks and knew as soon as I was reading the sides that this part was written for me. I got the part!

I went into this show thinking, "This is great. It's going to play to my comedic strengths, really allow me to be big and goofy. I can really do something with this part." And while that is true to an extent, I realized quickly that while I have a couple of really funny moments in the show, my character actually has a very sweet, touching story line.

First, let me say that I love working at SDMT. They put on superior productions. The casts are always amazing as are the staff and crew. And I did have fun backstage with this crew.  And I had fun onstage.  I got to play all the emotions from sad and lonely to head over heels in love and giddy to heartbroken and it felt great. I got laughs. I got tears. My favorite thing was when the audience would audibly say "Awwww" after I get rejected by the object of my affection.

Here's an example:

This job was a gift. I got to do everything I love on stage. Sing, dance, be goofy and get laughs and then play some nice tender, sweet moments.  It was a gift. I said that before. It bears repeating. I've been in dozens of shows over the years. I have many, many favorites among them. I have been very lucky that way.

I gave up a very nice paying job a couple years ago because I wasn't happy and I HAD to pursue acting full time. It is the one thing in my life that brings me joy. And sometimes we as actors forget that. We get bogged down in the business side of show business. The constant auditions and overwhelming rejection, the ridiculous insecurity and struggle to survive on little or no income. it sucks. It's tough. I struggle every day. There are days when I just don't know if I can keep going. This is why I do theater. It brings me joy. I can be somebody I can't be in life.

My favorite place to be in the whole world is in the wings backstage watching the show. One of my rituals is to go onstage by myself behind the closed curtain before the show starts, listening to the audience on the other side. (Oh. I also use that time to stretch because at my age, if I don't stretch before a show...well let's just say it saves me some pain later). Why did you have me on my knees so much?! God, were my legs stiff every morning!

Another joy, watching younger actors grow in the process. So proud to work alongside and watch them discover and grow as artists. This cast was amazing from top to bottom. Not a weak link in the bunch. All so very hard working and professional. 💗

So thank you to Jill, Robert (so glad we got to work together), Neil (the first person to cast and direct me at SDMT), Ron, Steve, Heather, Jessica, Max, Janet, Amy, Preston, Crystal, Jaz, Andrew, Don, Michael, Erin and Gary.

Richard

Pretty Women from Sweeney Todd

Pretty Women from Sweeney Todd sung by me in The gift of Song benefit at Repertory East Playhouse in April 2013. Part of a tribute to Sondheim evening.

I survived not one but two total wrecks in one month

You read that right. Four weeks ago, on Valentine's Day, I totaled my 2014 Honda Accord. After three weeks in a rental, I finally bought a new car on Monday, a 2015 Nissan Altima. On Tuesday, approximately 24 hours after driving the Nissan off the lot, I hit a car that pulled out in front of me and totaled the Nissan.

It's been two days. I have no car. I'm waiting to hear from the insurance company.  I don't know what is going to happen to my insurance rates. I don't know what's going to happen with the insurance. Will they pay for the second accident like they did the first?

Four weeks ago, I was on my way to San Diego. It was early afternoon and it was raining (as it did pretty much all through February). I was performing in Crazy For You at San Diego Musical Theatre. We were about three weeks into the run so I had been going back and forth between LA and SD a couple times a week. And often in the rain. I was on the 73 southbound in the farthest left lane approaching a steep downhill decline just before the Laguna Beach exit. I saw a CHP vehicle pulled over in the left shoulder and an overturned white SUV in the middle of the median. I hit my brakes to slow down and lost control of the car. I turned the steering wheel toward the median hoping I wouldn't skid or spin into traffic. I spun 180 degrees and landed in the median and then the car rolled over on its side and down the hill to the northbound side of the median. It wasn't over. I spun another 180 degrees so I was now facing south in the northbound side. Thankfully, I stopped, landing upright in a ditch.

I sat there and carefully surveyed the damage in the car and then checked to make sure that I was okay, remembering from Boy Scout First Aid that you never move a body from an accident in case something is broken or injured. I checked myself and realized I was okay so I unbuckled the seat belt and attempted to open the door. I couldn't see out the windows because all the air bags had deployed. Then I heard the CHP officer outside asking if I was okay. When I said yes, he asked if I could open the door and I couldn't so he helped me get it open and I stepped out.

I had a scratch on my left hand and my right had hurt really bad in the joint at the base of my thumb. Otherwise, I felt fine.  I waited in the CHP vehicle for a tow truck, called my insurance company. I found out that I was the third vehicle in a row to go off the road at that same point that day. I got one of  my fellow actors to meet me at the tow yard and I went to urgent care where they put my hand in a splint.  I was told I might have a fracture. The next day I saw an orthopedic surgeon who said it was arthritis. Really? Arthritis? I love getting older!

Anyway, my insurance got me a rental and eventually determined the damage would cost over $14,000. So they paid off my outstanding car loan and the remainder was sent to me in a check. This past week I went to Carmax and picked out a 2015 Nissan Altima and used the check as a down payment and financed the rest. On Monday, I picked up the car.

Approximately 24 hours later, I was making a lefthand turn onto Burbank Blvd as the light changed from green to red. About 500 feet down Burbank a woman pulled out of her parking spot as I was approaching and I hit her sending me into traffic where I rolled over turning upside down. There I was strapped in nice and tight in my seat, hanging upside down and with no view because all the airbags deployed.  Once again I did a quick inventory of my body and realized I felt fine. I let myself out of the seat belt and gently got down on the ground (or ceiling of the car) and then I heard voices outside the car door, We opened the door and about three or four people walked me to the curb, including the woman I had hit.   People brought me water and made sure I was okay. One man asked me questions to make sure I was okay. You know like, what's your name, where do you live, what's today's date who's the president.

Reports were filed. Witnesses were interviewed. My car was towed. And now I wait. I'm pretty sure I was not at fault. The main police officer did tell me that mine and everyone else's stories seem to corroborate. So I think I am not at fault. But my main concern is what will this do to my insurance? Will they pay for the whole thing like the last time? Or now that I've totaled two cars in one month, will they not cover me?

Making matters worse, I don't have a full time job anymore. I have a couple of different part time jobs and they both depend on me having reliable transportation. Not to mention that I'm also an actor who has to get to auditions on a regular basis. So I need a car for that. What will this do to me financially?

So I wait. Its also hard when you live alone. I have no one here with me. No  one to distract me. I'm on my own.  I want to send big "Thank Yous" to my friends Tom and JP who each seperately got me out of the house yesterday. And to Ariella for checking on me today and offering to take me anywhere I might need to go like the grocery store. And I do know that I am EXTREMELY LUCKY to be healthy and relatively unscathed from this. TWICE NOW!!! I have a guardian angel watching over me for sure!

And I'm thankful to the universe for keeping me safe. I am very, very grateful to the people who were so nice to me Tuesday at the scene of the accident. All I could think was TWICE IN ONE MONTH!!! WHY?! I just got this car yesterday! This can't be happening! What now?

But I'm here and I'm not hurt. Thank you!!

The Show Must Go On - The Actor's Nightmare

Actors...Ever have that dream where you're on stage and you don't know you're lines, you blocking or even what the show is that you're doing? Of course you have. We all have.

Well this weekend, I nearly lived it for real. That's right! I went into a new musical that I had never seen, read nor even heard about with 24 hours notice and no rehearsal. And I survived.

Friday night art 5:00 I received a message from an old colleague at Acme Comedy Theatre whose wife is in a new musical opening that evening in about 3 hours. One of the lead actors was in the emergency room and they knew nothing about his condition, ailment, when or if he would be back in the show. He had been asked to do it but he's not a singer (although I think he could have handled this character's one song). His wife asked if he knew anyone that could sing and act and jump in on a moment's notice.  And that's how I ended up in a new musical.

I was up for the challenge. It's been a while since I've done something like this, gone on as a replacement with little to non rehearsal. And I felt my mind needed it to prove that my mind was still agile enough at my age,

I was told that the show's composer was prepared to go on in the role that evening. I could simply come and watch the show and then jump in to Saturday night's show. I arrived at the theater an hour and a half later. It was very deja vu for me. I did two shows at the at theater 14 and 15 years ago and had only been back on a couple of occasions since both over a decade ago. So weird to be there again after all these years and to walk in the theater and see a signed poster if one of those shows with my autograph hanging on the wall house right. My very first show in Los Angeles was in that space.

So, I arrived and watched as they ran the composer through what would be my scenes. I was handed a copy of the stage manager's script and went in search of a FedEx Office to make a copy. As I went through the script I noticed that my character was named Cindy, not Sidney as was I had been told. I was confused. Turns out this was an older version of the script before my character's gender was changed. (Not the only one either, a formerly male character had been changed to a female so it evened out in the end).  Why the stage manager had an old version of the script was beyond me, but who am I to question.

So I went up to the booth to watch the show. I still knew nothing about this show called Mary of the Avenue. When Sidney came on stage I turned on the recorder on my phone so I could have a recording of the song I had to learn. I watched the show, and after made arrangements with my scene partners to meet at 5 on Saturday before the show.

I went out with friends and stayed out way too late (that's a story for another time). Cancelled my work hours on Saturday and stayed in so I could focus on my lines. Now the good news is that I play a reporter so I could use a clipboard in certain scenes when I was on the scene reporting to my TV audience. That way I was able to put the pages of the script for that scene on the clipboard and use it as a crutch when I was on stage.  I showed up at 5 and we ran my scenes a few times and then I went to the booth to learn my song. I definitely needed to have my script in my hand for that!

I did the show. The announcement that I was going on as a replacement was not made until intermission. The producer thought that if he made the announcement prior to the start of the show that the audience would be conscious of me looking down at my script periodically, but if he said nothing they wouldn't be as aware of it and it would be even more impressive when they found out that I was a last minute sub with no rehearsal time nor no knowledge of the show whatsoever until approximately 24 hours before going on. It worked! They totally fell for it.

Although I was never told about the curtain call. Well, no worries, I thought. I'll just ask who I follow and where I go. Great.  No problem. Worked out fine. And then when we all took our group bow...the music started playing and the cast started singing one of the songs from the show...and not my song! What?! After all that? I get through the show without incident and then that gets thrown at me. What is this song. Do I stand here like an idiot and just grin at the audience? Do I move my lips and make it look like a bad ventriloquist act or bad dubbing on a foreign film? No! I'm going to try and sing a long. A song I don't know. A song I've only heard once. And so I opened my mouth and sang. I followed along. The melody was pretty easy to pick up and as for the words I just a split millisecond behind the cast. Seriously. I was basically echoing them but only barely.

When I walked off stage, I went into the dressing room and said I wish someone had told me that I had to sing in the bows! The composer /producer came backstage and apologized for thinking to tell me and teach me the song. But then also noted how I just dove in and sang along and he couldn't believe how I appeared to know the song, Only his trained eye could tell that I was actually about a split second behind the cast.

So I did it. I went on again today and it was better. Next weekend I'll be onstage without a crutch, totally off book. But for now...Phew! I've still got it!

Another Midlife Crisis (What? Again?)

So let's get up to speed here...

Last June I left my full-time job to free up my life for my acting career. It was a difficult choice and one I had been debating for years. I had money in the bank, I had a nice nest egg in my retirement plan and 401(k). I figured if worse came to worse, if I went through my savings, I could dip into my retirement plan. I could find part-time work. Bottom line: I wouldn't end up on the streets.

Its now been almost a year and I've learned some things. I don't like not having a full-time job.  It's tough getting up in the morning and not having a place to go. I feel I need that structure (routine) in my life. Without it, I feel somewhat aimless, lost. So set some goals, Richard. Create your own structure.

But in addition to that, I no longer have a group of people that I see and work with every day. People to talk to and share with. Its gone. It contributes to my feeling of aimlessness. I feel alone.

I went through almost my savings within six months because I didn't work much during that time. Then, in January I started working a couple of part-time jobs which cover most of my monthly expenses but not all. The part-time jobs offer me flexibility which I like very much. I can pretty much make my own schedule which is great for the acting career because it gives me the freedom to go to any auditions I want and work around those auditions. But the hourly rates are less than what I was making even 20 years ago and no benefits.

I pay for my own medical now and since I took early retirement rather than quitting I am able to keep my old dental and vision plans, (I could have done the same with my medical but it was ridiculously expensive!). I rolled over my retirement plan and 401(k) into an IRA. Like I said its there if I need it but it will come at a cost  if I withdraw since I am under 60.

My rent has gone up...again so there's an added expense there. No problem, I'll look for cheaper place olive. Nope. Rents are going up everywhere unless I want to downsize of move further out from central LA.  I'm doing that...yet.

I withdrew some money from my IRA a couple months back and put it in my savings account to help me out because I wasn't working many hours at the time and I had gone through my savings. But then I booked a commercial and then a couple weeks later got my tax refunds so no need to dip into the savings just yet. Meanwhile, I've increased my hours with both part-time jobs so I'm bringing home more money. Far less than what I'm used to but I'm still here.

But what's freaking me outs this...the first six weeks of this year I had 10 commercial auditions. I was called back for five of them and then placed on avail for 3 of those five callbacks. Amazing! Three on avails in one month. That's never happened to me before. And I booked one of those. Yes!

But then after that, nothing. March and April were dead. I've had a couple auditions in the last couple of weeks so I feel a little better. But man this is tough. I'm in a panic. Maybe I shouldn't have left the job. Umm, yes! I should have! I was miserable.  Do I get another job so I have three? Increase the number of hours I drive for Instacart? I do make decent money some shifts, like @ $22/hour. But then other shifts I'll average $15/hour.  If I can make $250 - $280 in 16 - 19 hours, I can make $400 - $500 in 40, right? But do I want to do that, drive around the valley for 40 hours a week?

The other job, merchandising, is nice because I work by myself and can do the work whenever I want as long as its done by the deadline and I usually have a 1 - 3 week window to complete my assignments. But it doesn't pay much.  So do I look for a new gig? If so, what?

What's amazed me is how the universe has provided. For instance, the timing of booking the commercial. It happened a couple times before as well.  Right when I was running low on funds in September, I got five weeks of contract work with my former employer. Then, in November a commercial I made a year earlier was renewed for another year so I got a nice paycheck for that and then some independent work from some friends. So I'm learning to trust the universe more.  I'm a year into this new chapter in my life and I'm doing okay.

As for the rest, I spend a lot more time alone. I've always done theater and I think Ive used that as an excuse form black of social life. Or rather, its always been a substitute for a social life. And I decided recently to cut back on doing theater to keep myself available for TV and commercial work. So as a result, I'm not interacting with people so much anymore.  Not having the income I once had, I'm less likely to go out and spend money like I was. And working independently makes me miss the daily interaction with my co-workers. It's lonely when you work for yourself and without anyone else.

I chose this path. This is the one I wanted and I'm doing it. I told myself a long time ago that I knew if worse came to worse I would not starve and I would not end up on the streets because I am smart and in good health. There's a lot I can do. It just scares me being alone in this and not knowing what's next.

Going The Full Monty...Again

This past weekend I opened in The Full Monty at San Diego Musical Theatre as Harold Nichols. Opening night was electric. It felt amazing considering it was a very daunting experience. Six men getting buck naked every night. It's scary. I've done the show before, but it was still scary.

Yes, that is actually the six of us on our stage.

Fortunately, our production team made sure that the six men in the cast felt safe. We were supported by our entire cast from day one. We rehearsed the show for two weeks in a rehearsal space and then moved into the theater for 10 days of rehearsals prior to opening night. We did not strip all the way until two nights before our preview performance in a closed rehearsal with no one but the director, choreographer, and dance captain present.

Coming off stage after the final bows and running upstairs and down the hall to our dressing room was an amazing feeling. Our entire cast was cheering us on as we ran down the hall. The six of us share one dressing room at the far end of the hall from the stairs down to the stage. Once we were all present, I broke out a bottle of champagne for the six of us to toast ourselves on a successful opening. We earned it. We've shared a unique experience with one another that no one else can share with us. We're in it together...a team.

One of our show posters in front of the theater.

Another poster in front. 

I've done the show before so it was not my first time. So I was not as scared of the final moment in the show as some of the others in this cast. I did the show ten years ago in a small 99-seat theatre production in Los Angeles. A very different experience to say the least. A much smaller theater with a much smaller budget and none of the lighting effects typically used for that final moment of the show.  That was a very special experience for me. I had wanted to play the role of Harold since seeing it on Broadway. And our little L.A. production almost didn't happen. But through a series of fortunate events (a benefactor) and good old fashioned "the show must go on chutzpah" we did it. I'm still very close with most everyone from that cast. Getting naked in front of them every weekend will do that. It remains one of the best theatrical experiences I have ever had and one of my favorite roles I've ever played. I've always wanted to play Harold again.

So here I am 10 years later playing the role in a bigger theater on a much bigger scale. What's different? Well, I'm ten years older. I have arthritis in some of my joints. I get stiff.  My knees bother me. I don't learn choreography as quickly as I once did. The steps come to me fairly quickly, its memorizing the sequence that takes some time. It's frustrating to me because I've always put pressure on myself to be perfect. And I am not perfect. Not even close. My body doesn't work with the agility it used to.

When people hear you are doing The Full Monty, they automatically assume its about the strip. But its not. Its the ultimate underdog story. Six very different men all down on their luck come together and create something. It's about the journey. Not the destination. The audience is so caught up in the adventure that by the time we get to that final moment, they want the men to go all the way. Its not about the strip, its about them following through on what they set out to do despite all the setbacks.

The view of the stage from the back of the house.

And it feels so good to play that story and to go through that emotional roller coaster six times a week. This cast. These six men are so perfectly cast and all bring something amazing to the show. And the actresses playing the women in our lives couldn't be more wonderful and supportive. There is a lot of love and support from everyone backstage that includes the whole cast and our crew at The Horton Grand Theatre. This is why I wanted to do this show again. The love. The story. I hope if you're in Southern California, you'll come and see us.

We run through February 25. Link below to tickets:

San Diego Musical Theatre

Grateful for What I Have

A couple of nights ago, something came to me. I don't know where it came from, but it hit me out of nowhere. I am grateful. Yes. Despite everything, I am grateful for the things I do have in my life.

I have had a couple of recent experiences in which someone has contacted me and asked me to be in a show. Me, the guy who recently complained about not being liked enough, the guy who feels alone and unappreciated. I've been contacted a few times to either be in or audition for a show.  So maybe my therapist is right, people do like me and think I'm talented.

I have a job. I hate it. I mean I really I hate it! To the point where I spend every day fantasizing about the day I quit. BUT it pays my bills. I live in a nice apartment by myself. I drive a nice car. I pay all my bills on time. I have money in the bank. I go on trips. I have a retirement plan. All because of this job that I really truly hate.  But again, it struck me the other day. I am lucky to have it. I am thankful.

I may spend most of my free time sitting in my apartment by myself and sometimes I feel as if I'm alone. But that's on me. If I reach out, there are people there for me.

Let's face it, and there isn't a day that I don't think about this, there are so many people out there who have it much worse than me. People with real problems. I fell guilty complaining about my things. But we all have things. We're all insecure in some way about something. And there you have another one of my things..I discount everything I feel. I don't complain or speak out because my problems don't matter when compared to others. I'm healthy. I have a job. I have a nice life. I'm not homeless. I'm not sick or dying from some disease. So I keep my issues to myself. Not good either.

So bottom line, I have problems. They effect me. I need to acknowledge them. I need to reach out to others. I'm not alone. If I let others in, I'll find that I am liked maybe even loved. And there is nothing wrong with reaching out. We all need support. I've spent a lifetime keeping everything in because I don't want to bother others. But...I have it good. I appreciate what I have.

And speaking of which, this coming week I am off to Australia and New Zealand for two weeks. I can't wait! I couldn't do that without the cursed job! Stay tuned for more.

Another Opening Another Show

Well, I've been a little quiet the last couple of weeks. Why? I close done show on June 25 (How to Succeed at GCT) and went into tech 6 days later for another (25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee at SMP).

And now, Spelling Bee at Sierra Madre Playhouse has opened.  And what an opening it was! So relieved to finally have an audience and full house at that! Great audience. So responsive. For those unfamiliar with the show, it is a Tony Award winning Broadway musical from the mid-2000s. It is about a spelling bee. Its very funny and also very touching. It brings us the stories of the kids who participate in the bee. All of them quirky in their own ways. Kids who in school are probably labeled as nerds or geeks, but in this world they are embraced.

What makes this musical special is that it involves 4 audience members. Yes, patrons are pole din the lobby before the show an four are selected to come up on stage as spellers. They sit on the stage with the other spellers and are called up to the microphone to spell words. It is not scripted. In fact, the reader, played by me, chooses what words to read the individual volunteers and in what order to call them and eliminate them. I have inventory of cards with words on them and some are very hard and some are very easy. So I can choose what ones I think will work. But you never know what will happen.

Last night was a perfect example, I had designated someone to be eliminated on a word. I chose a word that I have never heard anyone spell correctly...until last night. The woman I read it to got it right and therefore stayed in the game. I now had an extra person on stage and no rehearsed spot to eliminate her. But there is a suggested spot in the script for elimination if needed. We never rehearsed there, but I decided as I was sitting there that it needed to be done there. So we did it. And I made sure I gave her the hardest word in the bunch.

It was an exciting night! We had some press there and each of us was interviewed by a radio interviewer. We had two critics there. I had a few friends in the audience. It was a terrific experience. I've done enough shows that openings seem to be pretty routine. This one was different. A very special evening.  And I dod believe because this is such an unusual show needing that audience because the audience is a character in the show and without an audience you don't have a complete show. And there;'s that unknown element of what those volunteers are going to do. It keeps you on your toes. Every night is different.

Them there is the cast. I've done the show once before, as have three others in the cast. We know it pretty well. This is a solid cast. Very talented, actors and singers. Yes, you have to hear the singing. Amazing! Of course I can say this with our bragging because my character does not sing. (I join in on a couple of songs but that's it) So, yes this cast can sing! And act! I'd say and dance but its not a dance show.

Sierra Madre Playhouse is on Sierra Madre Blvd. in Sierra Madre, CA.  Its an old movie theatre and an awesome place to work. Really great hard working staff. They hire the best designers in the business here in Los Angeles. Come see us. You're in for an exceptional evening.

Sierra Madre Playhouse FB Page

I Wrote A Play

I wrote a play some time ago. Its been sitting in my computer fro quite a few years now. Its short. I always felt it needed something more. So I recently added a bit more, made some adjustments, tightened it a bit. And then I did something really scary. I invited some friends over to read it.

I hosted a reading in my apartment and cast friends of mine in the various roles. I was nervous. Oh, who am I kidding? I was scared. Really scared. What if it wasn't any good? What if no one got any of the jokes? Or if they thought my story was lame? I mean it is somewhat semi-autobiographical. It reflects my own thoughts and some of my own experiences. What if they laughed at that and therefore laughed at me? I couldn't take it. That's why it was sitting on my computer for so long with our anyone seeing it.

So, they came over. I gave them a brief rundown of the script and the characters they were about to read and they read it. And it was funny.  They all laughed in the right places. And appreciated the heart of the story. It was a great relief to me. I mean this was me. I was putting myself out there so to speak. Putting my life on the line, in a way. Its scared me. You see, its difficult for me to share my writing, my thoughts, my ideas, my acting, etc. I'm so scared of rejection, so sure no one gets me. So her it was. Once again, I was proven wrong.

I got nothing but positive feedback. Everyone loved it. Liked my writing. It was fun. But then, of course, once we got past all the positives, I did get some notes. And I have taken them all to heart and done some re-writes. I still have more to do. I've added a couple of scenes to develop the main relationship more. I've given one of the supporting characters a speech at the end where he tells off the bad guys. I've given one of the villains more of an arc to get to their decision to turn on the lead.

So now, I have booked a theater and invited people to come and see a staged reading. All the actors are back. I'm replacing two with actors who are more age appropriate for their roles.   I've invited many people. I need to invite meow., I'm scared again. Not sure the re-writes will work. Well, some of them do, but I'm not sure about all the new scenes. Of course, it makes it longer. But it was really short to begin with.

So here we go again. June 19th at 7pm at The Attic Theatre on Washington Blvd. in Los Angeles. The jury will be out. Will it go any further from that? I don't know. It may be a film. Maybe continue as a play. That's what this is for. Hopefully, the right people will come and see this and maybe someone will champion this. And I can develop to even further and get up a full production.

If you're in Los Angeles on June 19 and are looking for something to do, come see it. There will be wine and cheese and a talk back after.

BTW...I should be writing right now. Bye! See you on the 19th.

New Head Shots

I recently had new head shots done. I've picked some serious photos  taken by my friend Anthony Campanella, which you can find on my fb page and my personal website.

Today, I'm trying to pick some lighter looks that I can use for commercials, musical theatre and sitcoms. Attached are some of my options. Let me know which ones you like.

Leave comments in the comments section below. All photos above courtesy of Sarah Kreig Photography.

My Website is Up and Running

I just created my own website. Its a little bare bones right now but i plan on upgrading and adding on to it as I go along.

Right now, you can see a couple of my videos as well and photos and links to my resumes and credits on other sites. There's even a link to this blog. So I guess if you click on the link below, you can then click on the link back to this site on that site. Its kind of full circle. It will get you into a continuous loop that you won't be able to get out of!

Here is the link:

Richard Van Slyke Online

Check it out!

And please let me know what you think of it. Send me suggestions. What do you think I should do to improve it.

Thanks!

Performance Anxiety

I need to vent. Yesterday, I had an audition for a show at a big prominent musical theater company here in the Los Angeles area. I've auditioned for them a few times over the last couple of years and have a few friends that have worked there. In fact, my last audition there last spring went quite well.

So I chose to audition for this show because there is a part in it that is perfect for me. I came very close to getting cast in this same role at another CLO in the area a few years back but ultimately did not get the part, but the artistic director was very happy with my audition and assured me it was a tough decision and she hoped I would continue to audition for them in the future.

So, I went into this audition yesterday armed with the same audition song. This is a song that I learned over 20 years ago and know like the back of my own hand.  I've sung it at cabaret nights, open mic nights and in my own cabaret act.  I went to this audition confident that I am right for this role and I had a song that was perfect for the character I want to be considered for and I know it well. I get to the audition location and am placed on deck in the hallway outside the audition room with two others. And that's when it hit me! Nerves. Big time nerves.

I stood there and realized how nervous I was. I kept telling myself that I had this. I know this song. It's mine. I had to keep talking to myself. I am a talented actor and singer. I know what I am doing. People like me. There is no reason to be this nervous. I'm Richard Van Slyke. I just need to go in there and show them.  I have this. Why am I so nervous?

I mean, I have been doing this for over 30 years. Why am I still riddled with nerves? Seriously. I've worked with vocal/acting coaches in New York and here in Los Angeles. I've taken voice lessons. I've worked professionally. I've been in dozens and dozens of shows. I've been in therapy. I've been given tricks to help me get through my nerves. But they don't go away. What is going on? Why am I still so lacking in self-confidence?

Here I am in line with much younger actors and singers probably not with half the experience that I have. They don't have their Equity cards. I do. And yet, I'm intimidated. I'm scared that I'm not as good as them. I don't belong here. Then I tell myself, these kids are here for chorus parts. You are here for one of the principal roles.  Seriously, what is wrong with me? When will I get over this?

A former acting teacher gave me a mantra to recite to myself, "I am me and that is enough."  I forget that.

Oh, and the audition...it went fine. I got through it. I sounded good. The acting was right on. I have fun with this song. I need to remember that. It's out of my hands now.

To Blog or No To Blog - Why Am I Blogging?

So why am I doing this? I mean why not blog? After all this is 2015, not 2006.  A good question. Let me give you a good answer...I don't know. Why not?

Why am I doing this? Honestly, its an outlet. And its to keep the creative juices flowing. You see I have written in the past and I have many ideas for projects, web series, short films, sketches, videos, plays. But I can't seem to write them. You see I get these ideas and I jot some notes down. I might even sit at the computer and start writing. But then I get stuck. I don't know where I am going. I run out of ideas. So I stop.

So for me this is a way to keep writing every day. Some of you may have heard of The Artist's Way and morning pages. I used to morning pages years ago. I haven't in a long time. This is my morning pages in a way. I'm not doing them first thing in the morning, but I am writing every day. I'm exercising that muscle and hopefully freeing the ideas to come to me. At least I hope that's what is happening. Maybe I'm just opening the flow of diarrhea from my brain. (I know. Eww!)

So this is an exercise and an outlet. A way to express myself. And also to see if my thoughts and ideas mean anything to anyone else. You see, (full disclosure), I am an actor and as you may have heard, we're a needy bunch. We need constant reassurance that you like what we are doing. Look up neurotic in the dictionary and you'll see one of the definitions is an actor.

I am seriously flawed in this department. I need constant positive feedback. When I don't get it, I my self-worth sinks. I have no confidence in my abilities or talents. Remember Sally Field when she won her second Oscar? "You like me! You really like me!" Yup! That's pretty much it.

Now by nature, I am not a needy person. I am pretty self-sufficient and independent. But when it comes to my work, acting, writing, directing, I need to know. It was especially bad in college. I was often in the head of there theater department's office crying about something, begging for validation. I  had to prove myself to everyone. They needed to validate my talent as an actor. Oy vey!

Today, not so bad. I may not say anything. But believe me the insecurity is still there, deep down inside, festering, just waiting for someone to come along and pay me a compliment and then just like magic, it's gone. Poof! Like magic.

It's really hard when I have to be myself in front of an audience. I have a cabaret act that I've done a few times. Toughest thing I ever did. Because it's me. It's all me. I share so many of my private thoughts and feelings. Will the audience like me? Will they find me as funny as I want them to? Will they feel where I want them to? Will they accept me for just being me and sharing my life? There's no character to hide behind. Just me. Fortunately, it worked. But oh the anxiety. The nerves.

I've written that and I wrote sketch for a few years at Acme Comedy Theatre. Sometimes it took much to write. I wouldn't get an idea until the last minute.  So much pressure. Are my ideas any good? Will they think its funny?

I wrote a web series a couple of years ago. I was so unsure I could do it alone, I asked a friend from Acme, Kate Danley, to help me bring my idea to life. I wasn't sure if she would think it was a good idea. But she did like it. And she helped write and produce the first season. And let me tell you I couldn't have a had a better partner. She has since gone on to be a prolific novelist. Great books. You can find them here:

http://www.katedanley.com/books.html

And our series, The Playhouse did quite well too. In fact, I did a second season all on my own since Kate's writing career actually took off at that point.  Here is a link to The Playhouse:

The Playhouse Soap Opera A Web Series

I have a play I've written. I wrote it about 10 years ago. I've shown to a couple of people, who liked it. But I haven't done anything with it. I think its time to have a reading. I have short film that I think is great idea, but I have never shared with anyone. I think its time. I've also written a few episodes of a web series with a class mate. We really should get around to filming that. What do you think? Do approve?

Ghosts of Halloweens Past

I recently attended a luncheon meeting with a new manager at work. It was a get to know you lunch for the whole department. To break the ice, she asked that we go around the table and share our favorite Halloween costume as a kid.

I had to think about this for a while. My favorite Halloween costume growing up? I can't say that I have one. I also could only remember three.  When I was a kid, I don't remember people making elaborate or clever costumes. Pretty much all I remember were those Ben Cooper costumes you could buy at the drug, toy or department store. You know the ones that came in a box with a window in it that showed the plastic mask and the body of the costume was some sort of synthetic material with the costume printed on it.

Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers all wore those. All I could remember was being Secret Squirrel in First Grade one year and Superman in Second Grade.  And then in Fifth Grade, my parents decided to make us original costumes. I was a hippie and my sister Debbie was a Hula dance. My youngest sister, Wendy, was a princess of some sort. She was still in a Ben Cooper. I guess she was too young to have a homemade costume! 

Oh my God! Those Ben Cooper costumes! The plastic mask with the holes for eyes and the slit for a mouth. Remember trying to breathe in those things? I can remember how you were basically breather on yourself. The hot breath sometimes causing a fog, especially if it was cold outside, (which it usually was in late October after dark in Albany, NY). 

Look at that handiwork! That's me on the right...the tall one. I'm wearing a cowboy hat and my mother's fall (the 1960s version of extensions for women with short hair), a white t-shirt over a darker long sleeve t-shirt, a white vest made of vinyl with brown contact paper made to look like a cow hide, and a medallion. And then one of my teeth is blacked out and I've got stubble make up on my face. Excellent!

As for my Dad's costumes, this was just the beginning. They got more elaborate. The following year for my sister Debbie, he made a Smiley Face costume. Two pieces of plywood, cut in a bug circle and fitted together with a couple of 2x4s(?) and then it slid over her heard and she held on to the 2x4s I think. Big and clunky. But clever and different.

The year after that, he re-purposed it. He cut into a wedge and repainted it, added cotton to the edges and it was a slice of pizza. Less bulky. Still awkward. Better her than me!

I don't ever remember having another home made costume after that one. I believe from that point on, I was a hobo. When I was growing up, once you hit pre-adolescence, you were too cool for a costume but you still wanted candy, so everyone from age 12 - 14 went out as a hobo. All that meant was you went out in a t-shirt or flannel shirt an jeans and carried a pillow case for candy.  Boom! instant hobo!

Getting back to the meeting. I was thinking, "What do I answer when it gets to me?" I was towards the end of the table so I knew I'd be one of the last to go. So I'm thinking I'll mention Secret Squirrel. I knew I would probably have to explain that one to most in the room.  One of my managers says hobo. Yes! Me too!  Then my supervisor says....Secret Squirrel. I couldn't believe it! How crazy is that? Random. But then she and I are the same age so not so much. I was practically epileptic! I was the next in the room, so I pretty much just piggy backed her. That was my answer too!

For those of you who don't know, Secret Squirrel was a Saturday morning Hanna-Barbera cartoon in the late 1960s. He was part of the Atom Ant Show. And he was basically a squirrel that was a spy and he looked like this...

But I have to wonder, why can't I remember any of my other Halloween costumes? Were those my favorites? Did I block the others out because I didn't like them?  If so, what does that say about me? Superman, Secret Squirrel and a Hippie. Well, the hippie obviously because it was so elaborate..well for the time...well for us.  And it could be that I actually have a picture of that one and none of the others.

Superman and Secret Squirrel were both superheroes in a way and both had secret identities. Was I hiding something too? Did I have a secret identity. Or was it merely wish fulfillment? I need to hide behind a mask or secret identity not wanting to deal with my true identity? Hmmm...alright! Don't read anything into it. They were just costumes. 

Happy Halloween!