I Used to Love the Emmys. What Happened? :(

When I was growing up, I didn't have many hobbies. I didn't play sports. I wasn't in many clubs. There was Boy Scouts and I played the cello in my school orchestra and in high school I got involved in the drama club. But otherwise I watched TV. Tons of it.

Every night of the week. My life revolved around the TV listings in the newspaper (We didn't get TV Guide growing up but I did subscribe to it as an adult).

I've discussed in some of my earlier blogs my love of television and my lifelong obsession with it. And I still love it. I love the technology. But to be truthful I miss old school network TV. For me, that is real TV. In my opinion, streaming and pay cable and all the other various outlets are not TV. I'll say that again. Streaming. Is. Not. TV.

There I said it. Call me old fashioned. Call me an old timer who can't accept change. But I believe that the only real TV is still the broadcast networks. TV is on a schedule. A show airs at a specific date and time and that is when you watch it, or record it.

Growing up we just had the Big Three networks, ABC, CBS and NBC. CBS being the king of them all! And the Emmys for me were an annual ritual where I could see all my favorite TV stars. It was fun and entertaining. There were only the 3 networks and PBS and some syndicated shows. Five nominees in each category. Sometimes less. The only awards given out were for Comedy, Drama, Movies and Mini-Series and Variety Shows. And the categories were Show, Directing, Writing and Acting. That was it.

Now there are so many awards given out they have separate ceremonies for the creative arts and technical awards and the guest stars, etc etc etc...

And there's reality show categories, competition and lifestyle and here's my biggest qualm...first they added cable TV and now streaming and as a result the networks are being shutout! And I don't know any of these actors. They're all from the UK or Australia or they're movie stars! And the ceremony is really long and really boring.

I don't care about them at all anymore. I want to root for my favorite shows but they're not even invited to the party these days. And the ratings go down every year. This year was the lowest rated Emmys ever! Granted, all broadcast TV shows go down year after year after year because of the fractured world of modern TV. None of the big events get the ratings they used to get when there were just three channels, (except the Super Bowls).  Seriously, remember when Miss America and Miss Universe were a big event? Not even on broadcast anymore. Or all the Bowl games and parades on New Years Day? Where are they now?

But also, the people watching broadcast TV don't know see any of their shows represented.

Look. I love streaming as much as the next guy. I have Netflix, Hulu and Amazon. But even I barely watch the tip of the iceberg in their original programming because there is just too much of it. If I ran the TV industry, (which let's face it you know I should!), I would have separate awards shows for streaming, cable and broadcast. The Emmys belong to the broadcast networks. How much longer do you think they will continue to broadcast the Emmys if they're not even represented at the awards show?

I want my TV back the way it was. I used to look forward to the Emmys every year.  Not anymore. Its just not TV. :(

Another Midlife Crisis (What? Again?)

So let's get up to speed here...

Last June I left my full-time job to free up my life for my acting career. It was a difficult choice and one I had been debating for years. I had money in the bank, I had a nice nest egg in my retirement plan and 401(k). I figured if worse came to worse, if I went through my savings, I could dip into my retirement plan. I could find part-time work. Bottom line: I wouldn't end up on the streets.

Its now been almost a year and I've learned some things. I don't like not having a full-time job.  It's tough getting up in the morning and not having a place to go. I feel I need that structure (routine) in my life. Without it, I feel somewhat aimless, lost. So set some goals, Richard. Create your own structure.

But in addition to that, I no longer have a group of people that I see and work with every day. People to talk to and share with. Its gone. It contributes to my feeling of aimlessness. I feel alone.

I went through almost my savings within six months because I didn't work much during that time. Then, in January I started working a couple of part-time jobs which cover most of my monthly expenses but not all. The part-time jobs offer me flexibility which I like very much. I can pretty much make my own schedule which is great for the acting career because it gives me the freedom to go to any auditions I want and work around those auditions. But the hourly rates are less than what I was making even 20 years ago and no benefits.

I pay for my own medical now and since I took early retirement rather than quitting I am able to keep my old dental and vision plans, (I could have done the same with my medical but it was ridiculously expensive!). I rolled over my retirement plan and 401(k) into an IRA. Like I said its there if I need it but it will come at a cost  if I withdraw since I am under 60.

My rent has gone up...again so there's an added expense there. No problem, I'll look for cheaper place olive. Nope. Rents are going up everywhere unless I want to downsize of move further out from central LA.  I'm doing that...yet.

I withdrew some money from my IRA a couple months back and put it in my savings account to help me out because I wasn't working many hours at the time and I had gone through my savings. But then I booked a commercial and then a couple weeks later got my tax refunds so no need to dip into the savings just yet. Meanwhile, I've increased my hours with both part-time jobs so I'm bringing home more money. Far less than what I'm used to but I'm still here.

But what's freaking me outs this...the first six weeks of this year I had 10 commercial auditions. I was called back for five of them and then placed on avail for 3 of those five callbacks. Amazing! Three on avails in one month. That's never happened to me before. And I booked one of those. Yes!

But then after that, nothing. March and April were dead. I've had a couple auditions in the last couple of weeks so I feel a little better. But man this is tough. I'm in a panic. Maybe I shouldn't have left the job. Umm, yes! I should have! I was miserable.  Do I get another job so I have three? Increase the number of hours I drive for Instacart? I do make decent money some shifts, like @ $22/hour. But then other shifts I'll average $15/hour.  If I can make $250 - $280 in 16 - 19 hours, I can make $400 - $500 in 40, right? But do I want to do that, drive around the valley for 40 hours a week?

The other job, merchandising, is nice because I work by myself and can do the work whenever I want as long as its done by the deadline and I usually have a 1 - 3 week window to complete my assignments. But it doesn't pay much.  So do I look for a new gig? If so, what?

What's amazed me is how the universe has provided. For instance, the timing of booking the commercial. It happened a couple times before as well.  Right when I was running low on funds in September, I got five weeks of contract work with my former employer. Then, in November a commercial I made a year earlier was renewed for another year so I got a nice paycheck for that and then some independent work from some friends. So I'm learning to trust the universe more.  I'm a year into this new chapter in my life and I'm doing okay.

As for the rest, I spend a lot more time alone. I've always done theater and I think Ive used that as an excuse form black of social life. Or rather, its always been a substitute for a social life. And I decided recently to cut back on doing theater to keep myself available for TV and commercial work. So as a result, I'm not interacting with people so much anymore.  Not having the income I once had, I'm less likely to go out and spend money like I was. And working independently makes me miss the daily interaction with my co-workers. It's lonely when you work for yourself and without anyone else.

I chose this path. This is the one I wanted and I'm doing it. I told myself a long time ago that I knew if worse came to worse I would not starve and I would not end up on the streets because I am smart and in good health. There's a lot I can do. It just scares me being alone in this and not knowing what's next.

I've Run Out Of Ideas! Wait! I Thought of Something!

I don't know what to write about. I'm tapped out. What do I write about? I can't think of anything. So now here I am writing about nothing. I had a couple of great ideas when I was in my car a couple hours ago. And now that I'm sitting at the computer, I can't remember what they were.

So I sit here...staring at the screen. Nothing. What do you do when you're stuck? Share with me. I need help!

(Some time has passed) I'm still stuck.  What could I write about? My career? Do you want to hear about that? Do you care?  My inner most fears? Or is that too personal?  I mean we're still new at this. I don't know that I know you well enough to share that yet. My dreams and aspirations? Maybe. Are you interested in that? My political views? No! I don't want to go there online.

Tomorrow at work, I'll probably come up with a great idea but I'll be too busy to write. And by the time I get home, I'll have forgotten. Well, Richard you say, why don't you jot your ideas down on a piece of paper or a sticky. DUH!  OK, yes you are correct there. And I do do that. If I think of it. If I don't get interrupted, etc.

Oh! I know! One of my ideas just came back!

Last week I mentioned my love/obsession with television. And I made it seem as thought I ONLY love old school TV. And that's not true. My latest TV addiction is HGTV. On the weekends, it is on non-stop! I love Love it or List It, House Hunters, Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, Flip or Flop, Property Virgins. So much! Love them! Although they are all pretty much variations on the same thing now. There used to shows that were slightly different, like Income Property, Curb Appeal, Design Star. But still. I love them all. And I feel now that I can do almost anything on my own because I've watched so much HGTV.  I used to DIY too. But I downgraded my cable package when the prices went up. But I liked their shows too, especially the Yard Crashers, Kitchen Crashers and Bathroom Crashers shows.

I think I could install my own drywall, sinks, tubs, toilets. I can do all on my own because I've watched so much. And I have very good taste if I do say so myself. I used to want to be an interior designer so there you go. I'm for hire. Give me a call.

And I do, in fact, love Netflix and Amazon Prime. You see? I am not that old fashioned. I enjoy Orange is the New Black and House of Cards and Transparent. But I have to say, I am tired of all the dysfunctional families on TV now. Why must they all be so dysfunctional? I love Transparent because of Jeffrey Tambor's performance. He is amazing. But the three kids? OMG! So f'ing needy, whiny and messed up.  And that's just one example. It seems to be a trend on cable and streaming TV shows. Just thought of another Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Same thing. The very grown children are all messed up. And I don't like them. I REALLY don't like the grown children on Transparent. Ick!

Where are the Huxtables of The Cosby Show? The Seavers of Growing Pains, The Keatons of Family Ties? I think I feel a MeTV fix coming on.  Yes. Change the channel, out on MeTV. Ah! Yes! Happy Days. The Cunninghams. OK. Got to go. Talk to you later.

What do you do for your writer's block. Leave me your comments. Also let me know what topics you want me to cover.

My Not So Secret Love

I began yesterday's blog by starting to get into this but wound up on another related subject. So here it is...

Over the last few years, I have become more open about this and have begun the slow process of coming out to my friends. I have always been a bit embarrassed to admit this about myself. But I am more comfortable sharing this about myself. I've been afraid of being labelled a "geek" or a "nerd". So here it is...

I love television. No, I mean really LOOOOVEE it! I cannot imagine living without it. I know more about television shows and the actors and creators then I do about the people in my own life. I am a walking encyclopedia of television history. I know the Emmy winners through the years. I can tell you the top rated shows from the beginning (1947 Texaco Star Theater with Milton Berle) through today (NCIS). I can tell what years and networks that shows aired on and who starred on them, who they were married to, who directed, produced etc.

I even won a great deal of money on Trivial Pursuit - America Plays, the game show.

I used to go straight the TV insert of the Sunday paper every week and memorize it.

I started reading the weekly Nielsen ratings every week when I was 12 and I haven't stopped.

But my knowledge kind of trails off as we get into the mid-2000s because of the proliferation of the cable networks and subsequently other sources of programming such as Netflix. But when it comes to the networks (ABC CBS and NBC) I know everything. Even who runs the networks and who ran them in the past. Its in there. In my head. And whenever someone says something that I know is incorrect, I immediately blurt out the correct answer. It's almost like tourettes. I can't help it! I think I may have a problem.

I'm not so crazy for present day TV. Most of it is like movies anyway. They look the same. They're just 22 or 43 minutes in length. I miss the days when it was just the big three (ABC CBS and NBC) . They programmed for everyone. Now, everything is splintered. Networks for kids, networks for women, networks for sports, networks for original movies.  No more Saturday morning cartoons on the networks. No more made for TV movies of Hallmark Hall of Fames. No more original programming on Saturday nights!

I miss the old shows. I grew up in front of the TV. On Friday nights, my sisters and I would roll out the sleeping bags, get into our PJs and watch the ABC Friday night line up (Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, Room 222, The Odd Couple, and Love American Style), fall asleep and wake up on Saturday morning to watch all the cartoons (Archies, Sabrina and the Groovie Ghoulies, Scooby Doo, Josie and the Pussycats, The Monkees, HR Pufnstuff,  The Jetsons, Pebbles and Bam Bam). Saturday nights, the whole family including my parents watched the CBS line up (All in the Family, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart and Carol Burnett). Sundays were Disney and Lassie.

Afternoons were loaded with reruns, Bewitched Jeannie, Mr. Ed, Superman, Mickey Mouse Club, The Musters, The Addams Family, Gilligan, the list goes on. The networks used to program  daytime reruns in the mornings of their recent shows The Lucy Show, Andy Griffith, The Beverly Hillbillies, Dick Van Dyke, That Girl.  There were the game shows, Concentration, Password, Match Game, Tattletales, Joker's Wild.

My parents were always after me to get out from in front of the TV and to go outside and play. "You've seen this I Love Lucy 100 times!"

What's left today? Two game shows on CBS and that's it. No more daytime reruns. Only four soaps and no cartoons.

Because of the fractured landscape of television today, we don't sit down as a family and watch TV together anymore. Kids today don't even watch TV on a TV! And never mid rushing home to catch your favorite shows. You can watch it anytime thanks to DVRs and streaming services.

I an still remember the thrill of rushing home from my part-time job at Sears on Friday nights to catch Dallas. Watching the drama unfold from week to week on St. Elsewhere and Knots Landing. God! How I loved those shows. I miss that. I want the old days back. Or am I just old?

And if you doubt my knowledge of TV history, go ahead and ask me if you see me. Its kind of hard to prove on here. Who's to say I won't use the internet to get the answer. So if you see me in person, ask away.

What do you think? Do you prefer the good ole days? Or do you prefer television today?  Or am I just an ornery old guy longing for the good ole days? I'd like to hear from you.