Live in Front of a Studio Audience

My thoughts on the All in the Family and The Jeffersons episodes that aired live this week.

We all know I am a classic TV junkie. I grew up in front of the TV. I know TV actors and their credits like sports fans memorize their favorite teams and players stats. I do that with actors' credits and their awards.

So as you can probably guess, I was excited to watch Live in Front of a Studio Audience on ABC this past week. What did I think? Loved it! I am hoping we will see more based not he ratings for this one.

I loved the audience reactions. They were loud and not sweetened like today's sitcoms. These days, the three-camera sitcoms are still shot in front of a live studio audience, but then they "fix" or "sweeten" the audience reactions in post production. So they sound muted, to me anyway. Often times, if the audience doesn't laugh where the producers want a laugh, they will add one in. In the Norman Lear days (the 1970s), the audiences were loud and boisterous, especially on his shows. They would applaud and go nuts over some of the lines.

I've read many articles and interviews where younger television viewers don't like the live studio audiences. They call it canned laughter, which it is not.  But we've got a whole generation now raised on the single camera comedies like The Office and Modern Family. They don't like the studio audience shows. To me, that's what a sitcom is!

On to the show...Loved Marissa Tomei as Edith. Loved Woody Harrelson as Archie Bunker. They were great, Trust to the characters while bringing their own spin to them. Ellie Kemper and Ike Barinholtz were good to although they didn't have as much to do. And frankly they are a little old to be playing the children of Marsisa Tomei and Woody Harrelson.  But I am quibbling here.

Tomei was a hoot as Edith. Loved her high pitched voice and the running around. Harrelson got the vernacular and dialect of Archie down just right. And not importantly, they were not imitating the threat Jean Stapleton and Carroll O'Connor.

Jamie Foxx was hilarious as George Jefferson. I loved how he had the swagger and the mannerisms of George. However, to me, he was doing an impression of Sherman Hemsley as George Jefferson as opposed to bringing his own take to the character. He was doing a sketch character. And that makes sense since he got his start on In Living Color. And I wasn't too thrilled with how he broke the fourth wall and pointed out his flubbed line instead of just repeating the line and going on as one does on stage. But that's just me.  It was funny to see Woody Harrelson break and turn his back to the audience when that happened. And Marissa Tomei just stayed in character as Edith, you could see she was stifling a laugh but staying as Edith. It does make live TV fun, but again really?

For me, the highlight of the night was the appearance of Marla Gibbs as Florence. I jumped out of my seat and cheered when they opened the door and revealed her. YESSS!!! And double bonus whammy for us classic TV fans, she was reunited with her 227 co-star Jackee!

Oh! And how fabulous was Jennifer Hudson singing The Jeffersons theme song!?

All in all I loved the night and I hope we get some more. That's TV!

I Used to Love the Emmys. What Happened? :(

When I was growing up, I didn't have many hobbies. I didn't play sports. I wasn't in many clubs. There was Boy Scouts and I played the cello in my school orchestra and in high school I got involved in the drama club. But otherwise I watched TV. Tons of it.

Every night of the week. My life revolved around the TV listings in the newspaper (We didn't get TV Guide growing up but I did subscribe to it as an adult).

I've discussed in some of my earlier blogs my love of television and my lifelong obsession with it. And I still love it. I love the technology. But to be truthful I miss old school network TV. For me, that is real TV. In my opinion, streaming and pay cable and all the other various outlets are not TV. I'll say that again. Streaming. Is. Not. TV.

There I said it. Call me old fashioned. Call me an old timer who can't accept change. But I believe that the only real TV is still the broadcast networks. TV is on a schedule. A show airs at a specific date and time and that is when you watch it, or record it.

Growing up we just had the Big Three networks, ABC, CBS and NBC. CBS being the king of them all! And the Emmys for me were an annual ritual where I could see all my favorite TV stars. It was fun and entertaining. There were only the 3 networks and PBS and some syndicated shows. Five nominees in each category. Sometimes less. The only awards given out were for Comedy, Drama, Movies and Mini-Series and Variety Shows. And the categories were Show, Directing, Writing and Acting. That was it.

Now there are so many awards given out they have separate ceremonies for the creative arts and technical awards and the guest stars, etc etc etc...

And there's reality show categories, competition and lifestyle and here's my biggest qualm...first they added cable TV and now streaming and as a result the networks are being shutout! And I don't know any of these actors. They're all from the UK or Australia or they're movie stars! And the ceremony is really long and really boring.

I don't care about them at all anymore. I want to root for my favorite shows but they're not even invited to the party these days. And the ratings go down every year. This year was the lowest rated Emmys ever! Granted, all broadcast TV shows go down year after year after year because of the fractured world of modern TV. None of the big events get the ratings they used to get when there were just three channels, (except the Super Bowls).  Seriously, remember when Miss America and Miss Universe were a big event? Not even on broadcast anymore. Or all the Bowl games and parades on New Years Day? Where are they now?

But also, the people watching broadcast TV don't know see any of their shows represented.

Look. I love streaming as much as the next guy. I have Netflix, Hulu and Amazon. But even I barely watch the tip of the iceberg in their original programming because there is just too much of it. If I ran the TV industry, (which let's face it you know I should!), I would have separate awards shows for streaming, cable and broadcast. The Emmys belong to the broadcast networks. How much longer do you think they will continue to broadcast the Emmys if they're not even represented at the awards show?

I want my TV back the way it was. I used to look forward to the Emmys every year.  Not anymore. Its just not TV. :(

When to join SAG. That is the question.

So its been a month.
A month since I closed The Full Monty. A month since I shot my commercial (which is now airing thank you very much) and a month since I've had a single audition. Yup. A whole month of nothing. A big fat nothing.

After busting my ass with auditions for the fits six weeks of 2018, I have had nothing at all. But that's the nature of the business. Its either feast or famine. Always has been. I've been through this before. But still, it always makes me think..."What am I doing wrong?" or better still, "What can I be doing differently?"

I hate these slow periods. What do I do to keep myself going creatively? Well, I can write. Which is kind of the point of these blogs...to keep my creative juices flowing. I can vocalize and sing. I'm thinking about putting together another cabaret act. Its been about five years since my last one. I haven't vocalized regularly in a long time.  All my voice lessons are on cassette tapes and my last cassette player died a couple years ago. So I recently purchased a tape to digital converter off of Amazon and voila! I know have my voice lessons on my computer. No more excuses.

On to the title of this blog, SAG.  Why is that there? Well, because I am not a SAG member. Nor have I ever been. I am SAG eligible and have been for about a dozen  years since I was Taft Hartleyed on a commercial. But I have never booked another SAG job since. Now eligible means that I can join at any time. I don't have to yet but I can.  It also means that I can audition for SAG jobs. Which is why agents tend to say wait until you have to join before joining it's the best of both worlds they can submit you for both union and non-union work. And also because I make money doing non-union commercials, it makes sense to stay non-union.

And then, more and more work is going non-union. So more and more SAG actors are going financial core, which means they can work non-union jobs. This means they are fee paying non-members. You're still a SAG member but you lose your voting rights and the right to participate in SAG events, seminars, etc.

But I have also been in this business for a couple of decades and I am a man of, shall we say,  a certain age. Managers say why is someone this age still non-union?

I ask myself, is it keeping me from getting further in my career. Am I not getting auditions for TV shows and union commercials because it doesn't say SAG on my resume? Well, not really because I DO get those auditions, just not often. This last year, I had 7 episodic TV auditions, and the last few went very well. I booked the room as they say. One office called me back a second time and all the casting people in the room laughed at my one line. So I know I booked the room if not the job.

Also, it costs $3,300 just to join the union. That's just to join. Then there's annual dues on top of that. Who has $3,300 lying around? Not me.  So, if I join will I get those auditions I so desperately want? Or will I see even less activity because so many commercials now use non-union talent?

That is the dilemma and why agents want me to stay non-union. But I can't help wondering if I might get to the next level if I go SAG.

What do you think? Post your comments in the comments section of this blog. I'd love to know what you think.

A Look Back at 2017

On New Years, people make lists. They look back at the last year and list their top 10s or just reflect on the highs and lows of the past year and make resolutions or perhaps set goals for the next year.

I am not one for making New Years' resolutions.  Why use the first of a new year as a reason to make changes or improvement in my life?  It should be ongoing.  Right? However, the end of the year can't help but make you reflect on the past year. And so much has changed in my life this past year, I do want to take stock of where I was and where I am.

I spent all of 2017 working in the theater. And I got to play a variety of roles in various genres. I started the year playing (don't laugh!) Cornelius Hackl in Hello Dolly. The reason you may be hearing about for the first time here is because it was for a one-weekend only church benefit cast mostly with church regulars and I was one of the pros brought into the production.  You may scoff at me playing Cornelius at my age but based on the age of the other actors, it worked and I got to check off a dream role from my bucket list. Cornelius is the heart and sole of this show and I got sing a beautiful, ballad, dance and show off my comedy skills.

I went straight from Hello Dolly to 42nd Street at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont.  I had a great time working there and may some new friendships that have lasted beyond the run of that show. I played Pat Denning and while not a huge role and once again I was back in a musical in an almost non-singing role, Pat Denning sings about 16 bars of one song. But he does play a pivotal part in the plot as Dorothy Brock's love.  I played opposite the wonderful Sarah Meals as Dorothy and I know I'll be back to Candlelight in the future.

While performing in 42nd Street, I began rehearsals for Hello Again, the musical which I directed at Chromolume Theatre in the spring. It was a big challenge. Not only is it rarely produced but it is the compete opposite of a Broadway blockbuster like the previous two shows.  And as is typical of me, I had some pretty serious doubts that I could pull it off. But I did.

While in rehearsals for Hello Again, I heard from two other theaters in town asking if I would be interested in auditioning for their upcoming shows. Crown City Theatre in North Hollywood was producing an original play written by one of their Co-Artistic Directors. Somewhere in the Middle was a comedy-drama about a Jewish-Catholic family whose college-age daughter brings home a black, Palestinian, Muslim fiancé to meet the family on Passover. Think Norman Lear 1970s sitcom. I played the father and I loved being able to play a straight role as the patriarch of a family.  We got great reviews and extended for a couple weekends.

And finally, I was asked to audition for the part of the Old Man in a stage adaptation of A Christmas Story, not the musical recently seen on FOX, but a straight play based on Jean Shepherd's stories. We opened in mid-November and closed on New Years Eve. The show was amazing. We sold out almost the entire run. The set, props and costumes were all top notch and the reviews were all raves. And best of all I had a role that was a real showcase for my talents. It was probably the most physically demanding role I have ever had. I was constantly out of breath backstage early in the run but as the run progressed, I noticed I wasn't as out of breath. And I lost some weight. Like seriously, my pants are hanging off of me.

And next, to start 2018, I return to one of my favorite roles of all time, Harold in The Full Monty, opening January 26 at San Diego Music Theatre and running through February 25. I start rehearsals tomorrow. Its a great to start the new year.

As I look back at last year, one word comes to mind...GRATEFUL. Look at the parts I played this year. All very different. Big budget musicals, small family dramas and comedies. I got to stretch my acting muscles and play so many different roles.

But the biggest step I took this year was quitting my job of 11 years so I could focus on my acting. Scary. Risky. Some might say Bold, maybe even crazy. Time will tell. I am scared but I also know that if I want to make a living as an actor, I need to focus on that and nothing else.

My goal this year is to book some co-stars on TV. I'm already off to a decent start with some auditions in the last couple of months. Based on the words listed at the top of this blog, what shows would you cast me in? Let me know in the comments section of this blog.

Thanks and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Women Directors in Commercials

So last week, I worked on a commercial.  A big achievement in my career on its own. However, as I stood in the room waiting for my callback to begin, and was introduced to the director it struck me the director was unlike any commercial director I had worked with before. This director was a woman.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "What's the big deal about that?" And seriously, I wish I could say nothing. But the truth is I've only ever worked with men directors on commercials. As I stood there, I had to think about it. "Yes! This is the first time, the director was a woman."

And I thought some more, "Has this been true for the movies and TV shows I've worked on too?" I had to think back. My God! It's true, I could only think of one woman director I've worked with on a film. And that was just last month. There have been plenty of woman assistant directors, but no directors.

Then my next thought was. "Why should I be having this reaction? This shouldn't be a big deal."  But when I thought about it more, I realized it was true. Then I questioned why haven't I ever worked with a female commercial director, especially in this day and age. Is it really that unusual? It's 2017. And I thought more, have I ever worked with a black commercial director? Nope. Again, worked with some black male directors on film projects. But not commercials. Why is that? Latino males? Yes. One. Because it was a commercial for Spanish language markets. On Films. Yes. Asian? Films. Yes. Commercials. No.

Again, on stage, I've worked with plenty of directors of all colors and genders. But then the theater world is much more progressive in that way. Still not perfect, but ahead of the curve in relation to TV and film.  We've all been reading and hearing about the struggle from pretty much any groups that aren't made up of white men in the media in the last couple of years. And it's real. Of course, I'm a white male so do these words mean anything coming from me?

Yes, the mere fact that I thought to myself, "A woman director? I don't think I've ever worked with one on a commercial." But my next thought was, "Wow! Sad. It's 2017. I thought we'd come further than this." There's a reason women are being more and more vocal these days in their right to get equal pay and opportunities. Despite the progress made by the previous couple of generations of women and blacks and Latinos and Asians and LGBTQs, there is still along way to go.

The point that struck me the most standing in that room waiting for my callback to start was how sad it was that I had that thought at all. I shouldn't have those thoughts because there should be more women directors making commercials and TV shows and films, etc.  I look forward to the day that I don't have those thoughts because it won't be the least bit unusual.

The Next Chapter

I've been keeping this one to myself...mostly.  As of two days ago, it became official. I am no longer employed full-time. Now this news is likely to concern some people. But the simple truth of the matter is I was miserable. Absolutely, 100%, out of my mind, trapped like a rat in a maze I couldn't get out of and afraid if I didn't do something soon I would crack and lose it miserable. There were some very, VERY low times in the last few years. I had to get out of there.  And after years of contemplating, debating, discussing, threatening, ruminating, I finally took the step and gave my notice about two and half months ago.

Friday, I left my job of nearly 11 years. That's the longest I've worked anywhere and its been great for me financially. I've put some money away. I've got a nice retirement plan/401(k). I have a nice car. I live in a nice place and typically don't have to worry about my expenses. For all of that, I am extremely grateful. But my mental state was not good.

I moved here from NYC to further pursue my acting career on TV and in film. And when I came here I told myself, if I didn't succeed as an actor then come hell or high water I would work in the entertainment industry no matter what. So, how did I end up working in Legal Compliance for a large finance firm in downtown LA? First off, I wasn't aware that anyone moved to LA for anything other than TV or film. I mean why move here. That's all that's here, right?

So I came. I started temping almost immediately and was placed at one of the big studios. I got an agent. I went out on commercial auditions. I did theater. I did some really (And I mean REALLY) low budget movies. I temped at that studio for well over two years. And then it came to an end, but I was immediately called by another temp agency that saw my resume online and was placed within days of leaving my last temp assignment at the studio at a finance firm in Pasadena for two weeks. It lasted over three months. And then the day after that assignment ended, another agency called that also found my resume online. The next day I went to their office and registered and the following day interviewed at the finance firm downtown and two days later started as a temp. And here I am 11 years and three promotions later....burnt out.

You see at the same time, I was working in the theater...almost constantly. In two or three shows a year.  And also going out on commercial and TV auditions. In recent years, its been tough to juggle. I'll go out on an audition during the work day and usually I'm back within an hour and a half. But every once in a while, I'm gone two hours, two and half hours. And every once in a while, my boss would notice and call me in wanting to know where I was. Stress. Anxiety. Anyone who knows me knows I can't handle a) stress, b) people not liking me and c) not being a perfect worker/employee/son/student/brother etc. I have to be perfect always, the good boy, the one who follows the rules and never does anything wrong. I cannot make mistakes, ever! It's a lot of pressure.

So take all this into an audition and well, you get the picture.  As I sit there in the waiting room, I'm checking the clock. Why is this taking so long? NO! Don't take a bathroom break. I have to get back to work! What if I get stuck in bad traffic? How will I explain myself?

I don't need that energy at an audition. Now, I'll be honest, once I'm in the audition room, I leave all that outside.  But as soon as I am out that door, I am OUT that door.  The stress of trying to juggle the full-time job and the auditions was too much. Now, I may go weeks without an issue but then I'll go through a stretch where I may have a couple of weeks with multiple auditions and me coming and going from work. Not so great. And lastly, I'm not 22 anymore! I'm exhausted all the time.

I need some rest. I need to relax and I need to give myself some time to prepare for each audition.
I'm not independently wealthy and I will need to find another way to support myself. But at this point, I'm looking for something part-time so I can have some flexibility.  I don't know what it will be just yet. I may open a store, or a franchise, or maybe work as a professional organizer. I'd like to teach acting to kids. Or maybe I'll just work as a barista at Starbucks. Who knows?

So if any of you know of a job or want to hire someone for some work around the house, let me know. I'm available.

Mary Tyler Moore

I've been debating to what to blog about for over a week now. Do I talk once again about my lack of a love life? Do I whine once again about feeling all alone in the world? Do I get political and talk about whats happening in this country as of January 21? Or do I talk about my acting career?

Today, I got an answer...Mary Tyler Moore. I've talked about my love of the TV shows I grew up and their stars. At the very, very top of that list are two TV sitcoms: The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Both of course, starring Mary Tyler Moore. I've read the autobiographies of MTM, DVD and Carl Reiner. I've watched hours of interviews with all three of them as well as the creators and co-stars of both of their series. I know the story of how she got the part of Laurie Petrie when Danny Thomas remembered the girl with three names who auditioned as a replacement for the role of his older daughter on The Danny Thomas Show a year earlier. He didn't hire her because no one would believe a girl with that nose could be his daughter. He brought her in to Carl Reiner, she read one line, he grabbed her by the head and dragged her into Sheldon Leonard's office and said this is her.

She was a novice at comedy and 12 years younger than Dick Van Dyke. But she learned. She was originally supposed to be the straight man to DVD. But then they wrote an episode where she's thinks Rob would love her more if she's a blonde. So she dyes her hair blonde only to discover Rob loves his brunette wife. So she starts to dye her hair back before he gets home. He gets there and her hair is blonde on one side and brunette on the other. She starts crying through her lines. And the rest is history. In her book, she admits she stole the crying bit from Nanette Fabray who would eventually play her mother on two episodes of the MTM Show. The Dick Van Dyke Show was her college and she learned from Reiner, Van Dyke, Rose Marie and More Amsterdam.

Anywho, go to Emmy Legends to see the interviews. For me, DVD and MTM were the perfect pair. Absolutely believable as husband and wife. Sexy and sophisticated and talented to boot. They sang and danced in their living room. I wanted their life. I wanted them to be my parents!

She as well as two women Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett were my three comedienne idols.  To me, they are the three greatest female TV stars ever to live. Then there's everyone else. My generation grew up with them. Daytime reruns of Lucy's shows and the Dick Van Dyke Show. Here's Lucy on Monday nights and Mary and Carol on Saturday nights.



Saturday nights in the 70s. As my sister reminded me today. We would take baths, or get our hair washed and sit downstairs in the family room with our parents and watch CBS: All in the Family, Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart. And then we would beg our father to let us stay up and watch Carol Burnett. He would let us as long as we didn't give him a hard time about getting up for church in the morning.  We always gave him a hard time on Sunday mornings. I would turn off my alarm clock, get back under the covers and shut my eyes when my dad came knocking on the door. I would pretend to be asleep and not wake up. He would walk over to my bed, calling my name, I wouldn't budge. He'd pick up the alarm clock, turn on the alarm and hold it up to my ear.

Loved those shows as a kid. But re-watching them as adult made me appreciate their talents. My fave eps of MTM: The Lars Affair, The Dinner Party, Put on A Happy Face, The Good Time News, Ted's Wedding, Once I Had A Secret Love, Mary Midwife, The Last Show. 
The Dick Van Dyke Show: Coast to Coast Big Mouth, Pink Pills and Purple Parents, I'd Rather Be Bald Then Have No Head, It May Look Like A Walnut, The Curious Thing About Women.

Mary Tyler Moore was diagnosed with Diabetes back in the late 1960s and was an advocate and spokesperson for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation as well as Animal Rights for many years. In recent years, her health declined quite a bit. She was losing her eyesight and had brain surgery a few years back. She hadn't been out in public in about three or four years.

I am glad that she is no longer suffering but boy will I miss her. At least we'll always have reruns and DVDs and streaming.

All in the Family Season 8 and all the feels!

Tonight, I finished watching my the Eighth Season of All in the Family. This is the final season with Rob Reiner and Sally Struthers, which in my opinion should have been the final season of All in the Family. The final episode of the season even plays like it could be a series finale.

All in the Family is one of my favorite series of all time. But there is definitely change in tone in the series around the Sixth Season. I believe this is when new show runners took over and this is also the season where Mike and Gloria are pregnant and they move into the Jefferson's house next door. The audience reactions aren't quite as loud and wild as they were in the first five seasons. Still loud but not the same. And there seems to be an increase in the level of slapstick in the series. i.e. Gloria and Archie giving each other the raspberries all the time, Mike and Archie always getting stuck in doorways, Gloria hitting Archie on the head, pulling on his chest hairs. The show still deals with major topics but they seem more universal and less of the time as they were in the early years.

Also in Season Six, the show was moved from its Saturday 8pm time slot because of the FCC's new Family Hour which meant the no shows with adult content could be shown before 9pm. That ruling was overturned due to law suits from producers like Norman Lear. But by then the damage had been done. For Season 7, All in the Family moved to Wednesday where it fell from 1 to 12 in the Nielsen Ratings. Midway through the season it was moved to Saturdays at 9 and then in Season 8 it moved to Sunday nights where it bounced back up to 4 and stayed in that time slot.

Now Season 8. What can I say. This particular season in my opinion is the best of the later seasons. In this season alone, Archie forges Edith's signature to mortgage the house and buy Kelsey's bar (the two-part season opener), they go to Cousin Liz's funeral and discover she was a lesbian and her roommate was her lover and wants the family heirloom tea set (Emmy best writing), the next episode, Edith almost gets raped on her 50th Birthday (Emmy for direction) and also a two-parter. There's a bunch of two-parters this season. Archie opens the bar and gets very little business so he gets hooked on pills (two-parter).  Next up, he gets recruited by the local KKK who have targeted Mike to burn a cross on his lawn (even though he has no lawn!) also a two-parter, a nice flashback episode for Mike and Gloria and how they met (clearly a showcase for there soon departing Rob Reiner and Sally Struthers), then another two-parter where Beverly LaSalle is killed as the result of a hate crime and Edith loses her faith in God. Archie's Super Bowl party is held up at gunpoint. Archie and Mike get locked in the storeroom overnight and Archie reveals a great deal about his upbringing. And then the final three episodes leading up to Mike and Gloria leaving for Mike's new job in California.  There are a few lighter episodes in there but Boy! A lot happened to this family in the course of six months! I'm glad this wasn't my family. Oy vey! (Sorry Archie)

As for that last episode, I can never sit through it without balling, I just watched it again for the umpteenth time and that last scene where they say their goodbyes...well let's just say I was sniffling and tears were streaming down my cheeks. That last shot of Archie and Edith sitting there in silence staring out as the camera slowly pulls back (what happened to the TV set that's usually in front of their chairs?) and the slow fade out..wow! just, wow!

Season Eight swept the Emmys in 1978 winning in all but one category, Supporting Actress for Sally Struthers. She won the next year for her guest appearance in the Ninth Season. Like I said its the best of the later seasons. Season Nine is a different show. No live studio audience, No Mike or Gloria and instead an adopted seven-year old girl, the daughter of a second cousin of Edith's. Not so great and not a fitting end to a great series.

Saturday nights on CBS were a family ritual in my house growing up. It's comfort food for me, watching all these old TV series and re-living my childhood and teen years.

At the risk of sounding bipolar...

Today's blog is about the positive side of my life or that glimmer of hope that pops up every once in a while and so you cling to it and it defines how you feel about yourself for a bit. Until something happens to bring you crashing back down.

First, thank you to all who reached out to me after my last blog. Again, I don't typically share that kind of information about myself. I believe that I should handle my own problems and not be a burden or annoyance to others. Seriously, that's how I feel about myself...that others have their own problems to deal with and they are more important than mine.  So writing about some of my issues was huge and scary for me. So thank you. 

But today, is to talk about the opposite. The positive signs in my life. The funny thing about the acting profession is that you're only as good as your last job. People have short-term memories in this business. So if I go more than a week without getting an audition, I get depressed. I start thinking that I'm not good enough to be pursuing this professionally. 

But then an audition will come in for a national commercial or a TV series and all of a sudden, I'm back!  I lose the feeling that I'm failing. It doesn't matter if I don't get the part or even a callback. It matters that I got an audition. And that must mean that they like me. They really like me! 

This week, I had a commercial audition, my first in a couple of weeks. Really, two weeks without a commercial audition and it sends me on a downward spiral? Well there were other factors involved in that, (see my last blog).  This particular casting office is an office I've auditioned for dozens of times over the years. It's been a while since my last time there. So I've thought they must not like me anymore because I've never booked. Ergo they stop calling me in. Then, they call me in for a national commercial audition and I think, I guess they DO like me. You see how this works? Up. Down. Up. Down.

OK, so I'm FINALLY getting to the meat of this blog.

So I walk in and there sits Rick Overton and Barry Livingston (he played Ernie on My Three Sons). And I think, "Holy Crap! How did I get in here?" Seriously. I grew up watching My Three Sons. Saturday nights on CBS right after The Jackie Gleason Show. I'm in the big leagues. I mean these guys have been series regulars. They've been around for a few decades. They know people. They've lived a life I've only dreamed of. Now here we are auditioning for the same job. Wow. Just wow.

So today, I am in a good place. Because, wouldn't you know the very next day I got another commercial audition. So suddenly, life isn't so bad. There is a glimmer of hope. Maybe I will book a few of these jobs and be able to quit my day job.

Tomorrow, I open in another show. And it's completely sold out for its entire run. It's only running this week and next. 11 performances. The show opens tonight but I will not be going on until tomorrow due to a previous commitment.  The show? Chico's Angels Waikiki: Chicas Five-O.

And it's hilarious! We had a small invited audience at last night's dress rehearsal. They laughed and screamed through the entire show. It was a rough dress rehearsal, as most are. There were missed cues, props, entrances, lines dropped, only half the costumes. But it didn't matter. We got through it. And I'm learning so much working with this troupe of players. They are pros, every last one of them and damn good at what they do. I feel out of my league.  (There's those negative thoughts again).

But all it takes is for one person to laugh at something I do onstage, and I'm okay. I guess I'm not so bad after all. Maybe I can hold my own up here. (C'mon, Richard. You know perfectly well that you can do more than hold your own on stage). That's the mature, logical voice inside my head talking back to the other negative, small child voice inside my head. They're constantly going at it. It's annoying.

Hmm, maybe I am bipolar. Or schizophrenic. 

Feeling better. Thank you!

Sometimes I Get Depressed

Sometimes I get depressed. No, really depressed. I feel like I'm all alone. There is no one here for me. I feel like my life has no meaning, no purpose. I'm just drifting through life. No place to go. Nothing to do.

I do like my alone time and at my age I've grown used to it. But sometimes, it gets to me. When I feel like I'm not accomplishing much in my life. When I stop and think that no one has called me in ages. When I think about the future. When I think about my day job that I absolutely hate but I have no idea what I would do if I were to quit.  And sometimes it all adds up and gets me super depressed.
And the the lack of auditions also causes me to lose confidence in my abilities as an actor. My friends on facebook are impressed with how much I do, but in my mind it's not enough. Its never enough. I'm a failure.  I'm always acting in something. Well, yes, but its not Broadway. Its not a part on a big network TV show. I'm not making a living at this.

Then I start thinking I'm not that good at this. I'll take a class for instance and there are other people in the class better than me. So clearly I'm not the best and therefore I am not loved nor liked. I'm a hack, an amateur. I'm untalented. The other actors don't have respect for or admire me.

There were times when I was younger, I would be surprised that fellow cast mates or classmates would praise me and love and laugh at everything I did. I felt like I wasn't even trying.  I didn't earn it. I couldn't understand why they liked me so much.

Is it because I'm older now? I'm not young and so I'm not cool. (BTW: I was never cool!) Maybe because I'm older, younger cast mates, etc think I'm unapproachable or I'm older and therefore secure and confident and don't need to be praised. Or why hang out with me? I'm too old. Believe me, it's not true. I'm just as insecure and lacking in self-confidence as I have ever been.

I'm thinking about not only quitting my job, but getting out of pursuing acting as a career. I'm also thinking I don't want to be in Los Angeles anymore. I don't think I like it here. The weather is nice. It's better then the Northeast, where I'm from. But where would I go? I miss NYC sometimes, but what would I do if I moved back there? And my hometown area, Albany, NY? Not crazy about the winters. And again, what would I do?

Maybe if there were someone in my life to share my life with, I would feel better about myself. Or even the feeling of a real sense of family among a group of friends. But I have none of that.

My therapist says it's good to share or to disclose your feelings so that is what I am doing here. Will this surprise some of you who know me? Perhaps. I do tend to not let on. I think you would be surprised how often and how deep this goes.  Full Disclosure: it's been really bad at times. Really bad. Not right now, but in the past.

I need a change. That's for certain. And perhaps being in class will strengthen my confidence. But right now, I'm not in a good place. This too shall pass. It always does. As soon as I book another acting gig it will probably pass. :)

Binge Watching TV - Not. Enough. Time.

I have been a TV addict my entire life. I love TV. Always have. Always will. I was raised in the era of three networks. When all three networks aired programs aimed at all audiences and families watched TV together.  I miss it.

Today's TV is well in the words of HBO, Not TV. It's not. Its made for the internet, for streaming, for cable. You have to subscribe to services or channels to get programs that you may like, There's Netflix and Hulu and Amazon and HBOGO and all the major networks have their own streaming services as well. And not just to re-a-r their broadcast shows. CBS recently announced that they are producing a new Star Trek series...for their streaming service. Not for their network! WHAT!?

I have Netflix which I subscribed to when it was strictly a DVD rental service. It was awesome...at the time. Order your DVD rentals online and they come in the mail. Great! Modern technology is awesome! That was so 2010. I have Amazon Prime because I subscribed for the free shipping, now I get TV shows and movies. And now they have original programming too! And good programs! I have DirecTV, Amazon Prime and Netflix. Do I need Hulu too? Its too much money. And my DirecTV bill keeps going up. I cut back on the number of channels after year one to get the price down and now its gone up again. Do I dump DirecTV? Do I dump cable altogether and just subscribe to streaming services? And then get an antenna and watch regular good old-fashioned free broadcast?

I admit that Is till like to watch shows on the major networks when they air or at the very least record them and watch as soon as possible.

But now, there is so much to watch or to catch up on shows that I might not have been on board with from the beginning but now I want to sample. Right now this is my list. I need to finish Aziz Ansari's show Master of None, Transparent, then I have to watch season 6 of Parenthood which was just released on Netflix. I want to watch Fargo and The Americans. And Mozart in the Jungle Season Two was just released on Amazon this week. Plus there's the regular shows I watch every week. The Good Wife, How To Get Away With Murder, CBS Thursday night comedies, ABC Wednesday night comedies, The Amazing Race, Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl. The new NBC comedies look decent, Superstore and Telenovela. I'm always into HGTV shows, thats my weekend background noise.

Oh! And I currently have a free three months of HBO so I have recently watched all four season of Veep, The recent season of The Comeback, the full run of Looking and I am now into Getting On. What else? What else? I have to watch them all. There's so much good stuff out there. What next? Feed me Krelbourne. Feed me now!

Oh! And I forgot I've been watching the 1970 episodes of The Doctors. Two episodes a day from NBC's 1970 daytime soap opera. In Living Color on NBC. Stay tuned for Another World. In Color. (They leave in the original intros and outros. It's awesome!)

I think I may have a problem

The Wiz Live!

My thoughts on The Wiz Live!

I enjoyed it. It was much better than Peter Pan Live! and Sound of Music Live!  I thought it was an excellent choice. The Wiz is not as well known as the other two. People know of it, maybe know the songs but have most likely never seen the show. I am one of those. I had the Original Broadway Cast Recording and loved it. In fact, I got it when I joined the Columbia House record club when I was in the 9th grade.

So that is reason one why I think it was a smart choice. It exposed the mainstream audience to a little performed classic Broadway show as opposed to another production of one of the most produced shows ever (like Sound of Music and Peter Pan).

The second reason, they cast an unknown in the lead role of Dorothy and surrounded her with a cast of names. And she was wonderful, like the wizard! (Get it ? Because the original book is called The Wonderful World of Oz). Great choice. Smart choice. And it paid off. Oh! And brining back Stephanie Mills to play Aunt Em? Yes! My musical theatre geek heart nearly exploded.

Reason number three, diversity, diversity, diversity. An all black cast in an all black musical! Yes. Smart NBC. Very smart. And in this day and age...necessary.

Now, most of what I have read online has been positive. It was an improvement from the last two years but of course not flawless. Personally, I thought that Queen Latifah's songs should have been taken up into a more comfortable area in her vocal range. They were too low for her. Yes, the songs were written for a man, but c'mon. This is a major network show. Change the keys for her.

Some of the negative comments I've read are that its still not as good as a live stage production. Well yes. It is a stage show and its being performed without a live audience so it does lack that aspect. However, its for a television audience. It's sort of a hybrid of a musical theater production and a television show. It was staged and designed for a TV audience, not a live audience. It's been staged on a huge sound stage in a movie studio and staged for the cameras as opposed to a live audience.

There were complaints that there were too many commercial breaks. Agreed. But perhaps necessary so that actors could change costumes or run from one set to another for the next scene. Because while it is a TV production, its live and its of a stage show which means you keep going. No stopping. It has to flow. Unlike a movie where you cut and shoot multiple takes. Its live TV.  All the editing is done in the booth as we are watching it. And that lends to the excitement of a live TV show. So we lose the energy and the heightened performance you would get in front of a live audience. But being live, things can still go wrong.

While nothing went wrong here, there were some camera shots that were questionable. But I think that was more on the TV director and the cutting. Some of those shots in the big numbers should have been wider. But that's being picky.

The costumes, set design, choreography, makeup all so awesome.

And bottom line for those negative Nancies out there who think the show was bastardized or dumbed down or just plain didn't like it because it was not an exact duplicate of the stage production...think about all the people who were exposed to a musical theatre piece that might not otherwise ever go see a show in the theater. Think of all the young kids out there, who will see this and be inspired to pursue acting or singing or dancing.

As I said with Carrie Underwood in The Sound of Music two years ago. Yes, there are far better stage actresses who could have played Maria in that. However, bringing in a name like Carrie Underwood brought in an audience that might not otherwise want to see a musical. Carrie Underwood fans, Country Western and Pop music fans. Bottom line, NBC is a major broadcast network and they are in the business of making money. You cast a name in the lead role, you're going to get a bigger audience. It's smart business.

However, this year. They took chances and those chances paid off. The Wiz Live on NBC. Did I like it as much as listening to the Original Broadway Cast album I grew up with? No. But did I like it as TV? Yes.

Two thumbs up to The Wiz Live! Can't wait to hear what they do next year. Let's hope they stick with this formula and not the Peter Pan, Sound of Music formula.

Am I an Internet Junkie?

When I'm bored, I surf the Internet. When I'm at work, I surf the Internet. When I'm on my lunch break, I surf the Internet. When I get home and after I've finished dinner, I surf the Internet. When I get home from the gym, I surf the Internet. On the weekends and on my days off, when I get out of bed, I surf the Internet. Ah, who am I kidding? I have an iPad. When I wake up on Saturdays and Sundays and I'm still lying in bed, I surf the Internet.

I may have problem.

I can't stop. It's my go to activity.  It's an excuse to procrastinate. When I had a sketch to write for Acme Comedy Theatre or for my web series, I would force myself to go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean so I wouldn't be as distracted as I would at home. Noticed I said as distracted as opposed to not being distracted at all. Why? Because I will still surf the Internet in between writing a page of dialog. I will. Can't stop.

Have to see if there's any new emails to respond to or if anyone has viewed my profile on Match.com or OK Cupid. I need to check Facebook to see if anyone has resounded to or liked any of my posts. And to read what any of my friends might have posted.

And then there's youtube. God love youtube. It is THE rabbit hole of all rabbit holes. I dare you to log in and just watch one. C'mon I dare you.  You can't. can you? I didn't think so. Hey. I'm not judging. I am the poster child for watching youtube. Its as bad as my TV addiction.

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Oops! You see that. Just then. I did it. I went away for three minutes my fb page, saw a link to youtube video and watched it. And now I am back.

My addiction to the Internet is now so bad that I watch TV with my iPad in hand and read emails, check my occupied and match profiles, and sometimes read an leave comments on my fb page. Stop The Madness! What happened to me?

For someone who rails against technology and how its changed our lives bad ways because its chipping away at all social niceties, formalities and human interactions, I sure act like the opposite. When did I become this person? I used to just watch TV and nothing else. Now some nights, I have the TV on, I'm sitting at the computer AND I have my iPad sitting open on my desk next to me so I can play Trivia Crack. What in God's name?

Please, someone, help me before I sink so far down that rabbit hole, I never come back!

My name is Richard and I'm an Internet-holic.

Do I Watch Too Much TV?

In a previous post, I talked about my love for and longing of the old days of TV. Its true but I am also addicted to modern TV. I am a serial binge watcher. When did this happen and why do I obsess over it?  I start a show, I have to finish it off. Although I must say that at the same time, I find its a nice way to catch up on shows I've never seen.

And with the Netflix and Amazon Prime model, just watch it all at once. And watch I do. Usually in an entire weekend...or maybe I'll stretch it out over a week. But there's so much of it! How can I possibly?  I don't know, but I do. Right after 30 Rock came to an end, I went on Netflix and started at the beginning and watched every single episode over the next couple of weeks. All seven seasons chronologically.

How do I do this? I have no life. I am a sad lonely man. I work all day, come home and turn on the TV and watch,. I spend my lunch breaks on my iPad watching shows on Netflix. The last show I watched was Louie. All episodes available. Shows that I'm not watching on TV, but I'm curious about and I don't want to jump in on in the middle, I go back to the first season on Netflix (or Amazon Prime) and watch. Once, Parenthood, Drop Dead Diva. Don't judge me! I know it s a "chick show". Its still enjoyable.

My taste is eclectic. I mean Louie, Once, Parenthood, Drop Dead Diva, 30 Rock, add to that Orange is the New Black, Transparent, House of Cards, Mozart in the Jungle, Parks and Recreation (I was a couple seasons late to that party). And any Showtime, HBO show., I'm currently bingeing Veep and Episodes. And then there's the stuff I DVR, ABC Wednesday night comedy, CBS Thursday night comedies, DC TV shows (Arrow, The Flash and Supergirl). I may stop at their new Legends of Tomorrow. Sunday nights, well I guess Sunday nights are just The Good Wife. But a couple years ago it included The Amazing Race and Mad Men and Desperate Housewives and Downton Abbey. Oh! And Thursdays now also include How To Get Away With Murder but that one is getting so convoluted I may have to breakup with that one.

OK, Seriously who am I? Binge watching? Breaking up with a TV show? Streaming? iPad? Just a few years ago, none of these words were even in my vocabulary and I only used Netflix to rent DVDs. Hell! Remember how Netflix almost went under a few years back because they transitioning from DVD rental only to DVD or online rentals? And now...look at them!

And if I run out of shows on my DVR or a new show to stream, I watch HGTV. Its always on. Or I pop in a DVD from one of my old TV shows.

Is my life ruled by my TV? Do I need to get out of the house more? Am I boring because I don't know how to talk about anything else? Do you even care?  Do I even care? For the answer to these and other questions, tune in to the next episode of my blog.

How Much "I" is "TM"?

As I sit at my computer every day pondering what to write about, I often debate how personal I want to get.  How much of my personal life or feelings do I want to share? I know many people use social media to express their feelings on any myriad of subjects. Sometimes a heated debate may ensue in the threads, people disagree, feelings are hurt, and friends are "unfriended" even blocked.

I have always made it a point to keep my social media posts free of my personal views or feelings mainly to avoid the above from happening and also because of my overwhelming need to be liked. I cannot handle people not liking me. I can't offend or disagree with people because they may not like me as a result. There. I just shared something personal about myself.

Others use social media to post pictures of their family and their travels or to share funny pictures stories etc.  Still others use it to promote their latest projects.  Many use it for all those things. But no matter what you use it for, there are those who attack. Some get sick of seeing others use social media to vent about their problems, or use it to express their political views or views on some other issue. or maybe think they others are using it to gain sympathy from friends.

I was once told by a friend that a neighbor unfriended him because he was sick of him bragging about how wonderful his life was and always rubbing it in his face. My response to him was that his "friend" was projecting his own insecurities and issues onto my friend's posts as if perhaps they were in competition as they lived in the same neighborhood and their kids played together. And there were some other similarities between the two families that I will not share here. They were probably just jealous. By no means does my friend post to brag. But there are insecure people who will see it that way. Their problem. Not yours.

I've seen people complain that those who use social media simply to promote their latest project. "I just cast in this play." "I booked a commercial." "Come see me in my show."  I'm afraid I fall into this category. To me, this is one of the things that social media is for...to promote yourself or your business. If you're an actor, writer, artist, a small business owner, entrepreneur. It's vital.  I mean postcards and and emails are practically a thing of the past. Maybe I should create a second page for my professional self.

Social media is for sharing your life. My friends with kids share pictures of their kids and major life events like weddings and holidays. My friends with businesses share info on their business events and specials. I share about my acting because, well I don't have a spouse or children and I don't have a fabulous home. I happen to perform on stage fairly often.  And if I get a part, I want to share the news with my friends. I want them to come see me (well usually! LOL). If I get cast in a commercial or a TV show it is cause for celebration in my life. And I want to share that the same I would if I was getting married or my kid rode his bike for the first time or said his first word.

But then sometimes I wonder, is my life empty? I have no spouse, no children, no house. Am I less of a person because I don't have any of these things?  No. It's just what I have right now. It's where I am. I don't have to be where you are in your life. I chose a different path and that's okay. I think. Is it? What do you think? :) There I shared. I'm insecure. Go figure.

I've Run Out Of Ideas! Wait! I Thought of Something!

I don't know what to write about. I'm tapped out. What do I write about? I can't think of anything. So now here I am writing about nothing. I had a couple of great ideas when I was in my car a couple hours ago. And now that I'm sitting at the computer, I can't remember what they were.

So I sit here...staring at the screen. Nothing. What do you do when you're stuck? Share with me. I need help!

(Some time has passed) I'm still stuck.  What could I write about? My career? Do you want to hear about that? Do you care?  My inner most fears? Or is that too personal?  I mean we're still new at this. I don't know that I know you well enough to share that yet. My dreams and aspirations? Maybe. Are you interested in that? My political views? No! I don't want to go there online.

Tomorrow at work, I'll probably come up with a great idea but I'll be too busy to write. And by the time I get home, I'll have forgotten. Well, Richard you say, why don't you jot your ideas down on a piece of paper or a sticky. DUH!  OK, yes you are correct there. And I do do that. If I think of it. If I don't get interrupted, etc.

Oh! I know! One of my ideas just came back!

Last week I mentioned my love/obsession with television. And I made it seem as thought I ONLY love old school TV. And that's not true. My latest TV addiction is HGTV. On the weekends, it is on non-stop! I love Love it or List It, House Hunters, Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, Flip or Flop, Property Virgins. So much! Love them! Although they are all pretty much variations on the same thing now. There used to shows that were slightly different, like Income Property, Curb Appeal, Design Star. But still. I love them all. And I feel now that I can do almost anything on my own because I've watched so much HGTV.  I used to DIY too. But I downgraded my cable package when the prices went up. But I liked their shows too, especially the Yard Crashers, Kitchen Crashers and Bathroom Crashers shows.

I think I could install my own drywall, sinks, tubs, toilets. I can do all on my own because I've watched so much. And I have very good taste if I do say so myself. I used to want to be an interior designer so there you go. I'm for hire. Give me a call.

And I do, in fact, love Netflix and Amazon Prime. You see? I am not that old fashioned. I enjoy Orange is the New Black and House of Cards and Transparent. But I have to say, I am tired of all the dysfunctional families on TV now. Why must they all be so dysfunctional? I love Transparent because of Jeffrey Tambor's performance. He is amazing. But the three kids? OMG! So f'ing needy, whiny and messed up.  And that's just one example. It seems to be a trend on cable and streaming TV shows. Just thought of another Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Same thing. The very grown children are all messed up. And I don't like them. I REALLY don't like the grown children on Transparent. Ick!

Where are the Huxtables of The Cosby Show? The Seavers of Growing Pains, The Keatons of Family Ties? I think I feel a MeTV fix coming on.  Yes. Change the channel, out on MeTV. Ah! Yes! Happy Days. The Cunninghams. OK. Got to go. Talk to you later.

What do you do for your writer's block. Leave me your comments. Also let me know what topics you want me to cover.