It's Been Forever! Where Have I Been?

So one of the reasons for doing this blog was to keep my writing going. As it turns out, I have also used it as a sort of therapy to discuss some of my feelings, inner demons, insecurities etc. Sometimes just to talk about random things, trivia, well all the nonsense that takes up space in my brain, like anything entertainment related. I swear I could teach a full semester course on the history of television without ever having to crack open a book or write a single note.

So, what has eI been up to since my last blog over a month ago? Well, I have spent the last six weeks performing in an amazing production of the musical 42nd Street at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont, CA. Its been wonderful. I'm working with an amazing cast and crew and its been fun from the get go. This coming weekend we close. And then the sadness sets in. I've made some friends on this one that I think are going to be around for a while.

But am I resting on my laurels? No. The following week I start rehearsals on my next project, the musical Hello Again. No. I am not in this one. I am directing it. What? You've ever heard of it? You're not alone. It's by Michael John La Chuisa and its a short piece, less than 90 minutes and entails 10 scenes involving 10 hookups. Its based on La Ronde. Look it up.

So, yes I am directing a show. Not my first. Ive directed before. My last one was just over three years ago and it turned out great. Auditions were last week and we had an amazing turnout. And so untypical of most auditions, almost everyone who scheduled an appointment actually showed up.
We had 48 at callbacks and I had to do some fast eliminating to get through them all.

I feel I may have disappointed some friends who auditioned for me. And the truth is I was so excited to see so many friends and former colleagues show up. And to be honest going in to callbacks I pictured myself with a cast made up of a few friends. That didn't happen. And its hard. Im such a sensitive person that I'm fearful I let them down. But in the end there was someone else who brought something to the table that made all of us go...that's it! In reality, I could have cast most anyone who came to callbacks. They were all that good.

And now on to rehearsals. I'm thrilled with the cast we got. They are all super amazing. And like I said so were many of those who weren't chosen but we have to choose. That's the nature of the business. So what's going on with me? My insecurities are coming out in full force.

Oh yes, here we go again! Can I do this piece justice? Am I good enough to lead these actors who have put their trust in me?  Have I bit off more than I can chew? So I think back to the last time I directed, and the time before that and the time before that and you know what? I felt exactly the same way. And they turned out fine. In fact half the cast of my last show (two of the four) came to audition for this one. And the third cast member contacted me to let me know he wanted to but was out of town all last week. The fourth cast member just moved to NYC last week.

So I think that is the best endorsement. Those who have worked with me in the past want to work with me again. OK, Charlie Brown stop talking and let me get to work. I've got a show to put up!

The Career that Giveth and Taketh Away - Acting: It's not for the faint of heart

So far 2017, has been a mixed bag. I was excited coming into 2017 having booked roles in two films. A small but fun a part in a low budget parody film and a significant role in a USC film school student film.

I was especially looking forward to the student film because it would give me an opportunity to play against type. I typically play ineffective middle management or authority figures or goofy dads/neighbors, etc.  In this, I was to play a sympathetic single dad to a gay teen son who is being bullied into a sexual relationship with another teen who threatens to out him. I was really looking forward to it. A week before Christmas, I was sent the shoot dates and I told them I was fine but I had a day job and would not be available during the week. A couple weeks later, I received emails confirming the shoot dates and times, transportation information and costume measurements.  I made arrangements to take a day off for one day of filming. I worked on my lines.

And then the day before I was due to shoot, I received an email telling me that due to my last minute notification to them of my limited schedule, they could not use me. What?! Exactly, what was last minute? I told them as soon as they notified me of the shoot dates. They never said word one that there was a problem. They sent me a shoot schedule for Friday Saturday and Sunday. I took Friday off form work.  They were in constant contact with me, adding me to the contact list, asking about dietary restrictions, talking with the wardrobe supervisor about wardrobe. No clue.

I wasn't sure how to react. I mean I was really looking forward to this. It was a great opportunity for me to show something I haven't on film yet. I sent an email asking if they had the right person. Or wondering what had happened. I was too impatient to wait for a response, so I called the student the email came from. I asked her what was going on. She said because I had conflicts they couldn't use me. ME: But you never said anything to me. I've been responding to all the emails you've sent regarding wardrobe, transportation, dietary restrictions, etc. You sent me a filming schedule on December 18 and I emailed back that I had a day job, so weekdays could be a conflict,. You then sent me a shoot schedule with shoot days of Friday Saturday and Sunday. I took Friday off from work to shoot. Not once did anyone say, three was a scheduling issue. You lead me to believe those were my shoot dates. If you had called me, I could have changed my schedule to fit your shoot schedule. And now the day before the shoot you tell me to my late notice of conflicts. What late notice? I told you three weeks ago as soon as you sent the shooting dates.  HER: Well, we really loved your audition. We thought you were great. But we can only have the location for certain days and can't change it and our lead actor is only available certain times and couldn't change his schedule. ME: But you didn't tell me any of this. You've been communicating with me as if I had the part. HER: Well, we have someone else. ME: I thanked them for their time and wished them good luck with the project.

Frustrating! Did I mention I really wanted to play that part?

Film number two was also supposed to shoot in January. So far, I've heard nothing since I accepted the part and they sent me a copy of the script. It's now February. I'm beginning to feel like that might not happen. So a few days ago I sent an email asking if there were any updates on the filming.  I've gotten no response back. Its been four days.

Oh Acting Career, you giveth and you taketh away.

These are the joys of being an actor.  You feel good one day and then down the next,. You're only as good as your most recent work. And your self-esteem is so low that if you're not working, you feel pretty low. It's been a slow commercial audition period for me as well. So of course, my esteem is low presently.

Now on to the positive!

Tonight, I am opening a show on stage that I am very excited to be a part of. And it's going to be a really good one! 42nd Street at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont, CA. If you're in the neighborhood, come and see those dancing feet. It's going to be so good.