Losing and Remembering My Father

My father passed away over 13 years ago in December of 2002. He was 65 years old. When he passed, I remember someone in my office telling me she had lost her mother a few years prior and she said that even thought she's gone, she's still there. She still misses her.

I know what she means. Even after 13 years, there are times when I miss him. There are days when I'll think about what he might say to me about something. Or I might simply want to call him and talk to him. But I can't.

I moved to Los Angeles about 6 months after he passed away. I remember a couple months after I moved here seeing a 1973 Ford Mustang Grande drive by on the street. My immediate instinct was to pick up the phone and call him to tell him I saw one. And almost as immediately I remembered he was gone. It sucked. Here I was living this whole new life and I couldn't talk to him about it.

First the significance of the Mustang. My very first car, (which he picked out for me!), was a 1973 Ford Mustang Grande. It was at that point a 6 year-old car. The previous owners had just given it a new paint job because they thought they would be keeping it for a while. Then a family member gave them a newer car so they put this one up for sale. It was copper with a brown hard top. The 1973 Mustang was also the last year of the BIG Mustangs. Starting in 1974, Mustangs were smaller due to the attempt by the Big 3 automakers to make economy cars and stop making big gas guzzlers as a result of the energy crisis.

As you can see, smaller. So the former above was my first car. I loved it. I had loved Mustangs since I was a kid. I had fantasized about owning one. And now I did. This car got me through my four years of college. Which was exactly what my father wanted it to do. A car to get me through those years and then after I was on my own. It was $1500. I used $1000 of my high school graduation money and my parents gave me the remaining $500. 

My dad taught me how to change the oil on that car. I did once, maybe twice and then never again have I changed the oil. I've added oil and I've changed the air filter. But I never again changed the oil. 

That car also had its share of issues. During the course of the next four years, I replaced the battery, the shocks, the muffler, all four tires, the bearings on the rear axles. Oh, and I was in an accident in which the driver side had to be redone.  There were probably other things, but its been over 33 years since I stopped driving that car so I can't remember.

When I finally bought a new car about a year after college, my Dad bought it form me for $500. He said it was a classic and it would be worth something. He would fix it. By this point, it was rusting through the floor boards. In fact, I don't even think it was working at all.  But it was a classic and he wanted to fix it up.

Cut to 2002 (18 years later). My parents are selling the house we grew up in and that Mustang has been sitting under a tarp in the garage untouched all those years. He never did anything with it. Couldn't afford to. So he sold it for parts in 2002.

I've gone a bit off topic. This was supposed to be about still missing my father even after 13 years. Seeing the Mustang made me want to call him. But I couldn't. There are other moments when I want to hear his voice. I actually do hear it. Right now, I can hear him saying my name in my head. He went too soon. It wasn't fair.

I still remember the first time, I wanted to call him and I suddenly realized I couldn't. It was exactly pone month after his death, January 15, 2003. I was in Philadelphia for the NFC Championship Game Philly v. Tampa Bay.  (I worked for the NFL in New York City at that time). It was a Saturday morning and I was shaving in my hotel room. I was thinking about the events of the day and I wanted to call him and share some of the cool stuff and people I was meeting. And then it hit me. He was gone. It hit me hard. I stood there with shaving cream on my face staring in the mirror and started crying. I can't call him anymore when something cool like this happens in my life.

I wish he was here. But I am grateful that my memories of him are all of him healthy and active and not old and sick. 

I should disclose he had ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. He was diagnosed with it in 2001 and passed exactly one year later in 2002 from heart failure. Fortunately, he was still up on his feet and moving on his own. Although, he no longer drove a car, and he had to use a walker.  We were prepared for him to move to a wheelchair very soon. He was at that point.  So on the plus side,  he never deteriorated to the point that many ALS sufferers do.  So the memories are all good of him up and about and still in control of his body for the most part. 

I still think about him all the time. 

I Saw Star Wars...Finally!

Yesterday, I finally made it to a movie theater and saw Star Wars The Force Awakens.  I've read many articles about it and seen some posts on my Facebook feed theorizing about where the new characters are going to go on their journey, etc.  But overall, I have managed to stay away from any major spoilers so I was able to enjoy the movie.

And I did enjoy it very much. I never saw the last trilogy that was made in the 2000s. I heard they were not so good. To be honest, I am not a sci-fi fan...at all.  I saw the original trilogy back in the day. In fact, I saw the original Star Wars at the movies twice, which is major for me.  Although, that wasn't so much because I loved it as it was I went once with my cousin and then had to go a second time as a family outing. I liked it thought. My favorite movies of that era were Close Encounters and Superman. I loved Superman with Christopher Reeve. That I went to see twice because I really wanted to. I still remember how excited I go sitting through the opening credit sequence of Superman.

Anyway, back to Star Wars. I saw the original trilogy when it came out,. And saw Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back again in the late 1990s when the re-released them . Return of the Jedi, I really don't remember much. I sought once, on VHS in my aunt and uncle's apartment with 3 bratty 13 years old triplets who had already seen it and wouldn't shut up through the whole movie.

So, The Force Awakens. It felt like the original movies. It looked like the original movies. It was a great homage to those films and fit right in with them. As if it was a part of the same story and the same direct's vision. And for this reason alone I loved it. I had also read an article that theorized that it was almost a remake of the original in its story. And I couldn't help that informing my viewing of it. I agree. We start out on a desert landscape. A lone young person comes into the possession of a droid with some important intel. There's the Order (Empire), the Resistance (Rebels), they escape on a ship and team up with its owner (not giving away any spoilers here), there's a Cantina like location with a bunch of strange looking creatures. There's a battle between a good person and a bad person on the mother ship. There are plenty of other parallels but I can't say without spoilers. So I'll stop there. You'll just have to see it yourself.

So I definitely give it two thumbs up. And like I said, I am not a sci-fi person, In fact, I don't like sic-fi in general. I've seen a couple of the Star Trek movies, The Final Frontier and Generations. And I saw the reboot with Chris Pine as Kirk a couple of years ago, bit thats it. I'm not into this stuff. I don't like other planets and weird alien looking creatures and stuff. Does nothing for me. Although, I did watch a few Star Trek Next Generation episodes back in the 90s and liked what I saw of those. But in general, not a sci-fi fan.

But Star Wars? Go! See it! Its awesome.

Batman TV Series and newfound respect for TV shows I grew up with

I recently received the 1966 Batman TV series on Blu-Ray from a friend of mine.  I started watching it yesterday. I'm about 8 episode sin at this point. Its interesting to see the first appearances of each of the villains. And it also brought many things.

I didn't realize that the first villain to appear was The Riddler played by Frank Gorshin who is so damn good! (Side Bar: He was nominated for an Emmy for this. Did you know that?) I always assumed it was Caesar Romero.

I also assumed the big four villains would be the first four introduced. While Riddler, Penguin and Joker comprise the first three weeks of shows, Catwoman has yet to show up and I'm in week five now. What I found interesting about the first three is that each one of them escapes from prison. No back stories. Just they've been in jail and they've escaped. Gotham Penitentiary is not doing a good job. The warden is too progressive. Its actually in the dialogue. Oh, and the warden displayed by the original Edward Quartermaine form General Hospital, David Lewis.

With Episode Four, we get Mr. Freeze played by George Sanders (who frankly I don't remember.  I do remember Otto Preminger, the director, who replaces him later in the series.)If you don't know who George Sanders is, watch All About Eve. He is awesome in that movie. What I found most interesting about this episode is that actually give him a back story. He's out for revenge against Batman because he blames Batman for the accident that turned him into Mr Freeze. What?! Back story for a character in a superhero TV/movie made before the 1980s? Unheard of! I'm serious TV shows prior to the 1980s had no continuity!

Back on course here. The three things I'd like to discuss:

1) The cultural phenomenon and impact of this show. I've explained this to co-workers and other young-uns who are under the age of 40 or so that back in the day when we only had a few channels to watch, a hit TV series made it's stars superstars, rock stars almost. Shows like All in The Family, Dallas, The Cosby Show were not just TV shows they were pop culture zeitgeists. Batman was a HUGE cultural phenomenon. I was only about 4 and half when the TV series debuted. I was not old enough to stay up and watch but I certainly knew about it. We played Batman and Robin during recess. We also played James Bond. It was the sixties.

There is nothing like that now. American Idol perhaps in its early seasons. Friends was probably the last TV series whose stars became major celebrities (and filthy rich to boot).

But back then, we talked about shows around the water cooler the next day. Or on the playground during recess. I remember in 5th 6th grade on Tuesdays we'd be impersonating our favorite bits from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In the night before.  Or doing Flip Wilson bits. The Devil Made me do it! In high school, Mondays were all about what we saw on SNL over th weekend, Roseanne Roseannadanna, Jane, you ignorant slut, But Nooooooo!, Cheeseburger cheeseburger, cheeseburger, no coke, pepsi, and so on. Now you know how old I am.

And damn, when JR was left lying on the floor from gun shot wound and we had to wait an entire summer to find out who did it? Big news! (The cover of Time magazine)

Batman merchandise was every where. Most every celebrity in the business wanted to be a guest villain. Some made cameos either as themselves or in character (Colonel Klink from Hogans Heroes, Lurch from The Addams Family, Dick Clark, Jerry Lewis, Sammy Davis, etc...)

Like most cultural phenomenons, it burned out rather quickly. Three seasons and it was done. But the re-runs lived on throughout the 1970s on afternoons when we came home from school.


2) Re-watching TV shows I grew up with as an adult. As a kid I liked Batman. In fact, I could get a little scared of some of the villains, The Joker in particular. He scared me a bit.I knew there was humor in there but I don't think I fully appreciated it until watching it again as an adult.

This show is a comedy...on purpose for those of you don't realize that. It was made as a comedy. Hell, the Batusi is in the pilot episode. Batman walks into a discotheque where Jill St. John is waiting for him. He walks in, The maitre'd asks if he wants a seat. Batman, in full costume, says I want to blend in. I'll just stand at the bar. LMAO! And then he and Jill St. John start dancing and he does the Batusi.

The show is hysterical. Never got that as a kid. As I got older yes. Its fun to re-watch it now after I don't know how many years. It was in fact nominated for Emmys in its first season in the comedy categories. Its interesting to note that it ran simultaneously with Get Smart, another sitcom that spoofs the spy genre and that I also love and won on DVD.

This brings to mind other shows I watched as a kid but didn't fully appreciate until adulthood. Namely, the Norman Lear shows. My entire family sat down and watched the CBS Saturday night lineup in the 1970s. All in the Family, whatever they put on at 8:30 cause it changed very season one year it was MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart and Carol Burnett.

What 10 year old really gets all the talk about abortions, and miscarriages and the IRA and racism and rape and cancer and "the change" that was discussed on All in the Family. All I knew was it was funny because the studio audience was loud. really loud. And the Mary Tyler Moore show. Love the characters. But it wasn't until re-watching as an adult that I truly appreciated how well written, directed and acted that show was. There's a reason The Mary Tyler Moore Show is the gold standard by which all sitcoms since are measured up to. It holds up. The scripts are beautifully written.  Callbacks to earlier jokes in earlier scenes. Key information given at the beginning of the scene that are key to later developments. The Veal Prince Orloff episode is a prime example of what I'm talking about. And its got a pre-Fonzie Henry Winkler as Rhoda's date to boot!

Batman was re-run after school growing up for us kids to watch. And while there are certainly things there for kids to enjoy, it was really written for the adults. And it can be appreciated on a whole other level. Besides, Adam West is pretty damn funny. He knows it. He created that character very carefully. And while it may have defined his career, he seems to have always been in on the joke. Witness, his recurring role on Family Guy. I also saw him along with Burt Ward and Julie Newmar on a panel at Comic Con two years ago and he has still got it. Julie Newmar not so much. He made a lot of jokes at her expense that she was a little slow to pick up on. Hilarious!

3) How shows develop after the first couple of episodes. One thing I enjoy about watching old TV shows over again in their entirety from the start is to see how they develop. They don't necessarily start out as what they end up being.

Some shows make a change in characters or direction after one season (Taxi - remember Randall Carver? or Newhart - remember Stephanie Holmes as Leslie or how about Kirk who at least made it through season 2 before being written out). And whatever happened to all the girls from the first season of The Facts of Life? Dallas originally focused on Bobby and Pam. It was supposed to be a modern re-telling of Romeo and Juliet with Juliet marrying into Romeo's family. But the show quickly re-focused on JR.

The Golden Girls: They had a house boy in the pilot episode. Rose never mentions her hometown in the first season. St. Olaf gets mentioned for the first time in Season Two and once the name is attached, the stories become more outrageous.

Delta Burke's character on Designing Women, while established early on as a multi-marrying man-eating former beauty queen from the get go, she doesn't become quite so outspoken and outrageous in her viewpoints until around Season Two.

Green Acres isn't initially so absurdist. Its a gradual progression. I love when they acknowledge the writing and directing credits on the screen in the opening scenes. What are those words floating in the air like that? Or Eb doing chores outside while lip synching to the theme song!

Karen on Will & Grace is a little different in the first season than who she becomes. The shrill voice isn't quite so shrill in the early episodes.

Ted Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show isn't that big a buffoon in the first season.

Likewise, Batman, I'm about 8 shows in and there have been no cameos yet when they're climbing up the walls of buildings.  Robin's Holy (fill in the blank) exclamations aren't in full use yet. And I;'m looking forward to seeing them all again.

BTW: The Blu-Ray is amazing! The show is so colorful and the Blu-Ray brings it all out.

Am I claustrophobic? Who knew?

So I went in for an MRI yesterday. Nothing serious. Just been having some neck pain for several months. Been in physical therapy for a few months and while the mobility in my neck has improved, I still experience chronic pain. So checking out.

I had an MRI about 10-11 years ago and I do remember at that time that I panicked a bit when they first put me in the machine. I asked to be taken out. I breathed, mentally prepared myself and went back in and managed to get through it.  Now, I thought I remembered having one years before when I was in my 20s and going through testicular cancer. But I don't remember having issues at all. Maybe it was different. I don't know.

Is it possible I've developed claustrophobia as I've gotten older? I swear I don't remember ever having issues with being in confined spaces. But then again, maybe I've never been in one before. At least not one this small.

Anyway, this time at least I was prepared. I knew it was small but I also knew that I had been through this before I came out just fine. So, I arrive, I check in, I go back to the imaging room. The technician hands me a pair of ear plugs. Not sure why, but there they are. He asks more than once about me being okay with the machine and all and I respond that I am fine. I lie down on the machine put in the earplugs. My neck is locked in a brace. I'm still fine. Again, he explains that some people get panicky and they move around so its important not to move around. I explain that I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm exhausted so I'm hoping to doze off.  He hands me the buzzer that I can use in case I need it because he won't be able to hear me when I speak.

In I go. I'm in. It's a tight space. OK. I'm fine. I can see. I'm just going to close my eyes. If my eyes are closed, I won't know the difference of my surroundings. I open them up again. I look up. I look to the sides. I look above me to see if I can see the opening of the tube above my head. Nope. I'm fully enclose. Not even a crack. No little window. Why do I have to be so close to the top of this thing? Can't they put in a little breathing room? I close my eyes again and tell myself to start thinking about something else. I should run the lines of my audition later today.

Nope. Not working. I can totally tell I'm enclosed in something. I open my eyes. I look around. My chest is starting to tighten. I'm getting a feeling like no matter what I cannot relax. I will not doze off. I am uncomfortable. I'm trapped. There is no way out of this thing. What happens if I really need to get out and I can't? This doesn't feel right.

Then the technician says, I'm ready to start now. What?! You haven't started yet. What have you been doing for the last two minutes. You said I'd only be in here for 10-12 minutes and its already been ac couple and you haven't even started yet!? No. Wait! Excuse me ,young man. Hello? I think I need to come out of here please.

He lets me out. I sit up. I breathe. I apologize.  I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I thought I could do this but its harder than it looks. I'm sorry. He assures me its no big deal. It happens all the time. I understand but I don't do this. I don't even know where this is coming from. I should be able to do this. He explains that we can reschedule and I can come back and they will date me first. Many people do. OK. That sounds good. Maybe I'll do that. Again, I'm sorry. No need to apologize sir, its very common.

So now I have to go back in another week. And this time I'm being drugged. Believe me, this also does not thrill me.

Maybe I'll just live with the pain.

Survival Jobs

I'm an actor. Did you know that? I am. And being an actor, I have spent a great deal of my adult life working survival jobs.

Mostly, day jobs in offices. I temped for many years in a variety of offices in a variety of fields. Every once in a while I decide that I need health care and a steady paycheck so I accept the full-time job and stay a while.

For many years, (my 20s), I worked in retail. I briefly attempted to live in New York City and pursue an acting career. I went through all my money in a couple of months. I refused to get a full-time job and only took part-time jobs that didn't pay enough. I hated the insecurity and I had no confidence in myself. I ran home to Albany, NY and my parents house and went right back into retail.

I did local theater at night. One show after another. Whenever and wherever. My retail career began to flourish. Eventually, I ended up as a buyer for a local chain of department stores. And I was really good at it. I liked it. But it was a small company and the pay was not great. My dream was to work Saks Fifth Avenue or Lord & Taylor. But then, I realized that the pressure of the corporate world would be too much.

And where I worked in Schenectady was too small time for me. I did not want to stay in Schenectady. All that time, something kept pulling at me. You have to go back to New York. Besides, the store I was working for was on its last legs. It went under about a year after I left.

So I went to NYC, but not without a job. I was a store manager for The Gap in Flushing Queens for just over a year. And then I burned out. I quit and I lost my rent controlled apartment in Kew Gardens in the same week. No job. No place to live. And in debt.

I started temping. I joined a theatre company on the East Side in Manhattan. After a few temp assignments, I ended up taking a job in the production department of the Public Finance division at Moody's Investors Service.  I took voice lessons, casting workshops, built up my resume at St. Bart's Playhouse. Eventually, I quit my full-time job and went back to temping and started getting acting work.

I briefly tried other jobs, telemarketing selling book clubs for Weekly Reader, working at men's store in SoHo... I lasted there less than a day. I walked out for lunch and didn't go back. I believe that's what they call job abandonment. I temped at a jewelry wholesaler in the Village for a few weeks where the people in the department were at war with another and putting me in the middle. I asked to be taken off that assignment.

I temped a few days a week. I worked in the men's department at Bloomingdale's nights and weekends. I auditioned. I got acting gigs. I came back to town and temped. I did long-time gigs in the Advertising Sales department at The New Yorker, the production department at Conde Nast Publishing and a couple of assignments at The NFL, which became my next full-time job when I decided it was high time I fixed the hernia I had been walking around with for about five years. I stayed there for four years while also working part-time in a couple of Broadway - NYC gift shops in the theatre district. Worked a Christmas at Lord & Taylor. Got out of debt. Lived on my own in Washington Heights. Got my Equity card. But things got stale, so I moved to Los Angeles.

More temping during the day and theater at night. A couple of years at Disney and then a couple of financial firms until I ended up in the compliance department at The Capital Group Companies in downtown LA.

I've been there almost ten years.

I've never waited tables, or tended bar or tutored or gone back to school to get licensed to do massage therapy or real estate. Just temped in offices. And I gotta tell ya, I love the benefits and the that fact that I have a pretty decent quality of life. And I do get to do theatre.

It works for me. I'm comfortable. Its not for everyone.

What do you do for survival jobs? Tell me about your worst survival jobs.

Let's Put On A Show! The Full Monty

Today, I was surfing the internet and came across some publicity photos from a show I did eight years ago. (Really? Eight years? It can't be) And don't ask me how I "happened" to find pictures of myself online! Alright! You caught me! I was googling myself. But, it was for research. Honestly. I wanted to see if my website came up in the searches. And guess what? It didn't! So there?

So, anyway! I found these pictures from a production of the musical, The Full Monty, that I did eight years ago. (Still can't believe it's been eight years!)

That's me as Harold dipping my wife, Vicki played by Ellen Caranasos-Sharp

This has to be one of my all-time favorite times I ever had on stage. We were with this show for close to six months. We auditioned just before Labor Day 2007. The show opened a week after Thanksgiving and played four weeks. Closed for the holidays and re-opened in mid-January and closed in mid-February.

The best cast ever and to be perfectly frank a perfect role for me. I loved it and I never wanted it to end. And there's also a great back story. An underdog story for the ages!

I was a member of a theater company and The Full Monty was on their schedule. We had auditions, callbacks and were cast. And then a week went by. No communication from the production team. A little over a week after being cast, we received an email saying there will be a cast meeting at the theater on Saturday morning. So, I got my script ready, highlighted all my lines and stage directions in yellow. Got my Ticonderoga yellow number 2 pencil and an eraser, packed my backpack and headed to the theater. But in the back of my mind, I wondered, "Why did it say cast meeting and not read through or rehearsal?"

So, we arrive at the theater only to be informed by the production team that unfortunately the theater company did not have the finances to pay for the production. They were behind in the rent and had to pay the bills of the last two shows. So because the production team had worked so hard to assemble this great cast, (and it was  great cast), they had been meeting all and had finally come up with a way to do the shows with the cast. They negotiated with the owner of the theater, found a producer to pay for the show.

That's Not he Goods (that's me furthest right crouching behind the couch)

We were assured that this would not affect our membership in the theater company. We would still be members in good standing with our theater company and this would also give the theater an opportunity to focus on paying the bills and not go further into debt. Were we all on board?

Hell yes we were! And on we went. We lost one actress a couple weeks into rehearsals. She just was not a good match. I knew immediately at the read through. We all sat in a big circle. She sat in a corner outside the circle. Now, granted, she had a bad cold. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But then she started acting surly. She was having none of our goofing around and having fun. I chalked it up to her sickness. But in the weeks to come, she missed rehearsals or showed up late. And after a couple weeks, one of the producers called her and gave her an out. She clearly didn't want to be there. So she left and one of my dearest friends (who was also part of the production team) came in. Yes!

Normally, shows in Los Angeles run six weekends. Our original plan, was to open the last weekend in October and close in six weeks mid-December. But because of the late start, we opened a week after Thanksgiving and closed the weekend before Christmas. And then a last minute extension for four weeks after the holidays.

On the left, Me with Ellen as Harold and Vicki. On the right, Aileen-Marie Scott and Ed McBride as Georgie and Dave. 

I played Harold Nichols, the laid-off, uptight middle manager of the steel mill in Buffalo, NY. He thinks he's better than all the others because he's management and lives a better lifestyle than them. And they blackmail him into helping them. I loved the show, loved the part, loved the cast. I am still good friends with most everyone from that show.

The show was performed in a 99-seat theatre space in Los Angeles. The sets reflected a scrappy industrial look. It really was an underdog production. And the reviews were amazing!

I've been lucky an had many, many wonderful experiences in the theater. But this one holds a very special place and always will. I feel like we could do it again tomorrow if we wanted.

I miss this one. Anyone out there want to produce it again for me? I'll be your friend forever!

The men of The Full Monty about to take it all off. (L-R Tim Hearl, Ben Euphrat, Ed McBride, Me, Keith Wright)

Trader Joe's

Last night I went to Trader Joe's for my weekly grocery shopping. Trader Joe's is usually a challenge to get into. That's why I typically go after 7:00pm. It's easier to get into the parking lot. If you go in the afternoon on a Saturday or a Sunday, the parking lot has a line waiting to get in. The parking on the streets around it tend to be occupied too.

Yesterday, a Sunday, I drive by around 5:30 and it was insane to say the least. Cars waiting to turn in from all streets. Side streets completely full. Cars trying to maneuver their way out of the lot. So I went back about a half hour later. Same as before, except this time I managed to find a spot on the side street behind the store.

Every time I park on that side street I think of the hoe owners on that block and how frustrated they must get with the traffic coming through on their short block and the cars using their driveway to turn their cars around.

I'm used to this. It seems to be true of all Trader Joe's, and it got me to thinking. Why don't hey build bigger parking lots for their stores? Well, because the stores are smaller dummy! Yes, but couldn't they build bigger stores I ask myself. Sure. But it seems to me that the concept of the store is that of a small neighborhood store, right? Right.  But man oh man! They are so crowded inside too!

Its not just my neighborhood store. Its ll the stores that I have been in here in the Los Angeles area. I get it. I do. Because they're a great store with a brilliant concept and reasonable prices. Even back in my hometown of Albany, NY they opened a store about two three years ago in The Town of Colonie. Even there they get crowds. I saw a picture online last week of people dodging traffic on busy Wolf Road to get there because they had to park across the street in another lot to go and shop there. Dodging traffic? Really? Is it worth THAT?

But yesterday...yesterday was the ever loving lulu of crowded Trader Joes. I usually detest the way the people just drive their carts all higgledy piggledy all over the store. Going every which way in the aisles, standing in the aisles, blocking the aisles. Not like in other stores where the aisles are in straight parallel rows as opposed to Trader Joe's which has aisles on an angle running diagonally across the store. Chaos. Always.

And yesterday. It was so crowded that not only was there a line at every single register. But every single line when through past the main front aisle and people were lined up in the sales aisles. No one could get through the front of the store. If you wanted to go in one of the wine aisles, godlike to you because those aisles were full of us standing in line to pay.

It. Was. The. Worst. I've. Ever. Seen. It. Bar None!

Insane. SO the whole time I was in line I thought about it. Why don't they have larger stores? Oh right, kind of goes against their store concept doesn't it? Loses the homey neighborhood market feel.

So c'mon Trader Joes'. Open more stores! Please. Now. Put us out of our misery. Wait! It just occurred to me. Its intentional. Its like a drug. They've got us hooked. Now we can't get enough.
More! More! Now! Feed me Seymour!

Binge Watching TV - Not. Enough. Time.

I have been a TV addict my entire life. I love TV. Always have. Always will. I was raised in the era of three networks. When all three networks aired programs aimed at all audiences and families watched TV together.  I miss it.

Today's TV is well in the words of HBO, Not TV. It's not. Its made for the internet, for streaming, for cable. You have to subscribe to services or channels to get programs that you may like, There's Netflix and Hulu and Amazon and HBOGO and all the major networks have their own streaming services as well. And not just to re-a-r their broadcast shows. CBS recently announced that they are producing a new Star Trek series...for their streaming service. Not for their network! WHAT!?

I have Netflix which I subscribed to when it was strictly a DVD rental service. It was awesome...at the time. Order your DVD rentals online and they come in the mail. Great! Modern technology is awesome! That was so 2010. I have Amazon Prime because I subscribed for the free shipping, now I get TV shows and movies. And now they have original programming too! And good programs! I have DirecTV, Amazon Prime and Netflix. Do I need Hulu too? Its too much money. And my DirecTV bill keeps going up. I cut back on the number of channels after year one to get the price down and now its gone up again. Do I dump DirecTV? Do I dump cable altogether and just subscribe to streaming services? And then get an antenna and watch regular good old-fashioned free broadcast?

I admit that Is till like to watch shows on the major networks when they air or at the very least record them and watch as soon as possible.

But now, there is so much to watch or to catch up on shows that I might not have been on board with from the beginning but now I want to sample. Right now this is my list. I need to finish Aziz Ansari's show Master of None, Transparent, then I have to watch season 6 of Parenthood which was just released on Netflix. I want to watch Fargo and The Americans. And Mozart in the Jungle Season Two was just released on Amazon this week. Plus there's the regular shows I watch every week. The Good Wife, How To Get Away With Murder, CBS Thursday night comedies, ABC Wednesday night comedies, The Amazing Race, Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl. The new NBC comedies look decent, Superstore and Telenovela. I'm always into HGTV shows, thats my weekend background noise.

Oh! And I currently have a free three months of HBO so I have recently watched all four season of Veep, The recent season of The Comeback, the full run of Looking and I am now into Getting On. What else? What else? I have to watch them all. There's so much good stuff out there. What next? Feed me Krelbourne. Feed me now!

Oh! And I forgot I've been watching the 1970 episodes of The Doctors. Two episodes a day from NBC's 1970 daytime soap opera. In Living Color on NBC. Stay tuned for Another World. In Color. (They leave in the original intros and outros. It's awesome!)

I think I may have a problem