I'm done with my homework. Can I watch TV?

I'm bored.

Yeah. I'm sitting here at my computer typing. The TV is on right behind me. The dishwasher is running. There is a sweater drying on my dining table after a hand wash (its the only flat surface that is big enough). And I am here trying to think about what to write. I have a cold. I talked about that last night. Its now a real cold. The incubation period has ended and I now have a cold...for real.

SO I am not going out tonight. Tonight. I plan to watch TV. A full night of it. Just like the good old days. I will watch the CBS comedies, even though I only really like Big Bang and Mom. The other two not as much. And then at 10, assuming I don't go to sleep, I will watch How To Get Away With Murder. Which is getting away with a whole lot of mess if you ask me.

I mean that show has to be the most convoluted plot in TV history. Like you seriously need a scorecard to keep track of who has done what and to whom and when and how and where. I think right now everyone except one character is either guilty of one or more murders or cover ups or accessory to. And they all hook up with one another every week. Male to male, females to female, male to female, the same female with both males and females. I mean I can;t even. But its still interesting and fun enough to keep up with.

Then there are the shows you want to divorce.  I was close with Arrow, but they got me back on board. But I definitely don't care about Oliver's flashback stuff. I mean just get him off the damn island already,. He was on the island the first two season, then last season he was on Hong Kong...or was it China? and now this year he is back on the island but there's a whole new set of crazies on the island. Who are these people?   

Wait. Ami I talking about Lost? No. No, its Arrow. But it reminds me of Lost. The back and forth between the present and the past. Who is the enemy on the island? Him. No. There's another camp. They're the enemies. No. The first group is. No. Now they;re dead. So the second group is. No. Wait There's a whole new crew. They're bad and there's a bunch of innocents stranded on the island too. No. Wait. Ahhhhh!!! 

OMG! Enough with the flashbacks. Oliver has been back for over three years now. Let's stop with the flashbacks.. I'm done. Give me more Felicity. I love her. No. Really. She is the best thing about the show. The one light in a world of very very dark.

The Flash, on the other hand, I absolutely love. It is awesome, The introduction of all the characters from the comics. The special effects and it's not as dark. Not at all. Has much more of a sense of humor. Love it.

Almost 8:00. Time for Big Bang. Time to go.  Later!

Feed a Cold is a Free Pass To Eat

Catching a cold. I am catching a cold. And I am not happy. I am never happy when I have a cold. But then I guess no one is happy when they have a cold.

It hit me last night after dinner.  And today, I was okay. Functioning. But not great. Had a PT appointment after work and when I told my PT that I was coming down with cold, he said go home.  After questioning me about where I was in the stage of the cold, he sent me home.  Still incubating I guess. So no chances to take. Go home and don't give me your sickness.

So I went home. Had some dinner. And now two hours later, I want more. Feed a cold, starve a fever. So now I am about to go to the store and by snack food because well you know, feed a cold! I have a cold. Ergo I can eat whatever I want and stain the couch watching TV. No dance class tonight. No gym.  Those were my alternatives tonight. But, I'm under the weather so...you know. FEED A COLD!  Feed me Seymour. Feed me now!


Healthy eating can wait until this passes, right? Feed a cold!

It's pretty early in the game for this cold. I'm not sneezing or coughing. I'm not stuffed up. Just a bit of scratchy throat and some congestion the sinuses. But I'm so tired. My eyes hurt. Their red. I will definitely go to bed early tonight. Like by 10, which is early for me.

Oh! And I have gas. Really disgusting smelly gas. What? TMI? Aren't you glad I shared?

I mean I feel fine. I'm just really tired. And my throat is irritating me. If I medicate myself enough it could go either way. I could take my Nyquil and wake up tomorrow feeling better or I could wake up even worse than I am today.

I just want to sleep and eat. Because, well, I have an excuse to eat. Feed a cold, people! Feed a cold! The greatest advice ever given. Its a like a free pass when you're on a diet.

So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Ralph's to get some cookies, and Cheez-Its and maybe some hummus and pita chips. And juice! I love juice!

See you on the other side of this cold.

Am I an Internet Junkie?

When I'm bored, I surf the Internet. When I'm at work, I surf the Internet. When I'm on my lunch break, I surf the Internet. When I get home and after I've finished dinner, I surf the Internet. When I get home from the gym, I surf the Internet. On the weekends and on my days off, when I get out of bed, I surf the Internet. Ah, who am I kidding? I have an iPad. When I wake up on Saturdays and Sundays and I'm still lying in bed, I surf the Internet.

I may have problem.

I can't stop. It's my go to activity.  It's an excuse to procrastinate. When I had a sketch to write for Acme Comedy Theatre or for my web series, I would force myself to go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean so I wouldn't be as distracted as I would at home. Noticed I said as distracted as opposed to not being distracted at all. Why? Because I will still surf the Internet in between writing a page of dialog. I will. Can't stop.

Have to see if there's any new emails to respond to or if anyone has viewed my profile on Match.com or OK Cupid. I need to check Facebook to see if anyone has resounded to or liked any of my posts. And to read what any of my friends might have posted.

And then there's youtube. God love youtube. It is THE rabbit hole of all rabbit holes. I dare you to log in and just watch one. C'mon I dare you.  You can't. can you? I didn't think so. Hey. I'm not judging. I am the poster child for watching youtube. Its as bad as my TV addiction.

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Oops! You see that. Just then. I did it. I went away for three minutes my fb page, saw a link to youtube video and watched it. And now I am back.

My addiction to the Internet is now so bad that I watch TV with my iPad in hand and read emails, check my occupied and match profiles, and sometimes read an leave comments on my fb page. Stop The Madness! What happened to me?

For someone who rails against technology and how its changed our lives bad ways because its chipping away at all social niceties, formalities and human interactions, I sure act like the opposite. When did I become this person? I used to just watch TV and nothing else. Now some nights, I have the TV on, I'm sitting at the computer AND I have my iPad sitting open on my desk next to me so I can play Trivia Crack. What in God's name?

Please, someone, help me before I sink so far down that rabbit hole, I never come back!

My name is Richard and I'm an Internet-holic.

Why Does Travel Turn People Into Animals?

So I took a short trip this weekend and flew. And the usual crop of frustrations with air travel came up. You know like the cramped space in the seats. The woman next to me was very sweet but she was not a small woman and she filled out the whole space. She was in the middle seat and I was on the window.  I was crammed in leaning against the window. I could not sit up straight because she occupied the the seat and the arm rests reading her book. Not her fault. But I was crammed.


One of my biggest pet peeves with air travel, well travel in general, is the idea that we seem to be treated like cattle. Think about it. We are here'd like cattle! We stand in lines. Long lines. Every step[ of the way. At the check-in counters, at the security checks, at the gate to get on the plane, Waiting to get off the plane.  We. Are. Cattle. And what gets me is that everyone has to be first in line or first off the plane. Like you don't have reserved seat that you are assigned to. Like its general admission or first come, first serve.

I also love the people who are up on their feet the second the plane is parked at the gate. No, not the ones that stand up. I know its been a long flight and they're cramped in their little seat. It's good to stand up and stretch your legs. Its the ones who don't have the patience to wait for the people in the rows in front of them to get out of their seats. Seriously. What is that about? Wait your turn. Be polite and let the people in the row in front of you out first.

I also love how people will start lining up to board before the boarding process starts. You have an assigned seat! And with United anyway, thats the airline I usually fly, you are assigned a seating are (1 - 5). I am always in group 2 because I am in their frequent flyer program. And since airlines started charging for luggage, people now like to get as much into their carry on luggage as they can so they can travel without checking luggage. I get it.

But it also ticks me off. Again, because I am a United Mileage Plus member, I get to check one bag for free so I never have too much to bring on the plane. But even for short trips where I only have a carryon, I do not over load or take advantage by bringing on too many pieces.  It bugs me when I see people with too many carry on items.

It has become very common for the gate agents to ask passengers to check any bags that might not fit in the overheads. Today's flight was one of those cases. The two men online right in front of me were asked to put their bags in the rack they use to measure the size. And its it doesn't fit, they must check their bag at the end of the ramp. She printed out luggage tags and put them on the bags.

The entitled bald, fat assed, middle-aged man in front of me, tore the tag off as soon as we went through the gate door and crumpled the tag up in his hand. When we got on the plane, he threw the crumpled ticket into the first open over head in the economy section.  Then when he got to his row, he threw his jacket and shoulder bag down in the middle of the aisle so he could put his carry on in the overhead, (I didn't realize it was his stuff in the aisle until he was done and went to his seat), so no one could pass. He proceeded to try and shove his overstuffed carry on luggage into the overhead. It wouldn't fit. In my mind I kept saying please please don't let it fit at all. Please let him have to turn around and leave his bag outside to be checked. It wouldn't fit so he went to another spot and SHOVED it in till it went.

I wanted so bad for that ass to get busted. Part of me wanted to tell the crew. But I figured what good would it do anyway. He'd probably yell at me and call an asshole for ratting him out. And I get the mentality of getting in line sooner. Get on early so you don't lose a spot in the overhead. But seriously, when the flight crew tells you it's too big and they tag it to be checked and then you just basically say F U, that's not right. I just kept thinking to myself hopefully karma can be a bitch. And if this is how he lives his life, them he's got some karma coming to him.

Grumpy Old Guy Rant

Alright. Get ready. I'm putting on my grumpy old man hat.

I just got back from my lunch break. I went to my bank down the street to make a withdrawl from the ATM. There is only one branch of my bank on Bunker Hill, the neighborhood where my office is located.  And this one branch has only one ATM. The Bunker Hill neighborhood is made up of several tall skyscrapers housing all the major banks and financial institutions So as you can imagine, that makes for a large number of people here every weekday during business hours.

There are other banks on the hill here and in fact they all have corporate headquarters here on the hill so their branches not only have ATMs in the bank branches but also ATMs within their building lobbies and concourse levels. My bank does not as it does not have a presence here on Bunker Hill.

All this is to preface the fact that there was a long line at the ATM so I peaked inside the branch to see that the line for the tellers had only two people in it. So I went inside to make a withdrawl rather than stand in the long line at the ATM. Are people that dense? Do they not remember that you can make withdrawls inside the actual bank? Have they forgotten what we did before ATMs? But then I thought about it, it has been about 33-35 years since ATMs hit the scene. I realized that anyone under 45 or so probably didn't bank before ATMs so they probably never experienced life without ATMs.

In fact, when I go t back to my office I was talking about this with a co-worker who is 32. Do you know what he asked me?  "Can you make withdrawls at the teller windows?"  I mean..DUH! Yes! Of course you can. It's a bank. That's why they're there. Deposits and withdrawls. Hello?!

I. AM. OLD.

Rant Two:
There were only two windows open. Two tellers during lunch hour in a business district. This is not a residential, shopping or tourist area. Its a business area filled with business people who work weekdays. And all those many thousands of office workers take lunch breaks usually somewhere between the hours of 12 and 2. So you would think they would staff up during lunch breaks. I worked in retail management for years. If I were the branch manager I would schedule my staffs breaks around the rush hour. Its just common sense. But no. Despite having 10 windows in side the bank. There were only two windows open.

Now don't get me wrong, I realize that in this day and age most business is done using the ATMs and not as many people will come inside. These banks were built in an era when all your banking was done inside so that is why there are so many teller windows and they are not all staffed. But c'mon. Its lunch time. Have 4 windows open instead of two!

That's it. I'm done. Go back to your regularly scheduled lives.

Do I Watch Too Much TV?

In a previous post, I talked about my love for and longing of the old days of TV. Its true but I am also addicted to modern TV. I am a serial binge watcher. When did this happen and why do I obsess over it?  I start a show, I have to finish it off. Although I must say that at the same time, I find its a nice way to catch up on shows I've never seen.

And with the Netflix and Amazon Prime model, just watch it all at once. And watch I do. Usually in an entire weekend...or maybe I'll stretch it out over a week. But there's so much of it! How can I possibly?  I don't know, but I do. Right after 30 Rock came to an end, I went on Netflix and started at the beginning and watched every single episode over the next couple of weeks. All seven seasons chronologically.

How do I do this? I have no life. I am a sad lonely man. I work all day, come home and turn on the TV and watch,. I spend my lunch breaks on my iPad watching shows on Netflix. The last show I watched was Louie. All episodes available. Shows that I'm not watching on TV, but I'm curious about and I don't want to jump in on in the middle, I go back to the first season on Netflix (or Amazon Prime) and watch. Once, Parenthood, Drop Dead Diva. Don't judge me! I know it s a "chick show". Its still enjoyable.

My taste is eclectic. I mean Louie, Once, Parenthood, Drop Dead Diva, 30 Rock, add to that Orange is the New Black, Transparent, House of Cards, Mozart in the Jungle, Parks and Recreation (I was a couple seasons late to that party). And any Showtime, HBO show., I'm currently bingeing Veep and Episodes. And then there's the stuff I DVR, ABC Wednesday night comedy, CBS Thursday night comedies, DC TV shows (Arrow, The Flash and Supergirl). I may stop at their new Legends of Tomorrow. Sunday nights, well I guess Sunday nights are just The Good Wife. But a couple years ago it included The Amazing Race and Mad Men and Desperate Housewives and Downton Abbey. Oh! And Thursdays now also include How To Get Away With Murder but that one is getting so convoluted I may have to breakup with that one.

OK, Seriously who am I? Binge watching? Breaking up with a TV show? Streaming? iPad? Just a few years ago, none of these words were even in my vocabulary and I only used Netflix to rent DVDs. Hell! Remember how Netflix almost went under a few years back because they transitioning from DVD rental only to DVD or online rentals? And now...look at them!

And if I run out of shows on my DVR or a new show to stream, I watch HGTV. Its always on. Or I pop in a DVD from one of my old TV shows.

Is my life ruled by my TV? Do I need to get out of the house more? Am I boring because I don't know how to talk about anything else? Do you even care?  Do I even care? For the answer to these and other questions, tune in to the next episode of my blog.

Fall in So Cal

Its cold out. No really. Its cold out. Its 61 degrees at 9:40 pm. Freezing. I need to turn the heat on in my apartment. This morning, I got out the wool peacoat. It's freezing! I've got the sniffles and I'm taking echinacea.

What?! 61 degrees and I'm cold? I lived in New York City for 13 and a half years for Gods sake. This is nothing. Wait! And before that, I lived in Albany, NY for the first 28 years of my life. What happened to me? 61 degrees is cold to me? Yes! Dag nab it! It is.

When I moved here from NY, I donated more than half my sweaters to Goodwill. I had a few coats too. I got rid of all but one. I'm moving to Los Angeles, I thought. What use would I have for these? What use indeed.  You back in the Northeast may laugh and perhaps sneer at my complaining of the cold. But you try it. You move out here and see it you don't eventually convert too. If the temps drop below 60, you try and walk around in a short sleeve shirt or in shorts. You can't. I dare you. You'll be just like me.

It must be something in the air.  It does something to our blood. After you've been living here for a while, your body adjust so you can no longer tolerate anything under 60. Or you acclimate to the point that you body doesn't remember what it felt like to live in a colder climate.

As much as I love the warmer climate here and as much as I hate the long cold hard winters of upstate New York...I do miss the seasons. We don't really get them here. All we get is a drop in the temperature and maybe some rain. That's it. The leaves don't change color. There is no smell of burning leaves in the air. And its always green (or maybe yellow and some browning but that's only because there's a drought here). That's our winter and fall. Rain. Cold. Nothing more.  And at any time, the temperature can suddenly skyrocket to 90 degrees. It was in the 90s just a couple of weeks ago!

We weer complaining about the 90 degree heat. Now we're complaining about the cold temps, which really aren't that cold. Downright balmy compared to the East Coast. When did I become such a wimp? What happened to my blood? Am I no longer a true New Yorker? Am I a Californian now?

I always thought of myself as a New Yorker. No longer how long I live here, I still day I'm a New Yorker. Maybe I can't say that anymore? I still grumble at people that won't step in the crosswalk unless the Walk light is on. Please ! Bitch! I'm from New York City, we don't wait for no stinking Walk light!

I curse at cars that don't pull up all the way into the intersection when they are waiting to make a left hand turn. C'mon! Move INTO the intersection. Don't wait behind the crosswalk until there is a gap to turn. Los Angelenos! Geez!

Yeah, despite my lower tolerance of the cold, I am still a died in the wool New Yorker and you can never take that away from me!