I have been an actor for many, many years. My whole adult life in fact. It is not something I have always made a living at, but it has been a constant in my life.
In pursuing an acting career professionally, many suggest writing and performing your own material while you wait for the paying gigs to come in. And also so showcase your talent and what you can so that they (Casting Directions, Directors, Producers, etc) know what to do with you.
Over the years, I have had many ideas for plays, sketches, short films, etc. But I am always hesitant to go forward with any or to even start at all. Yes, I belonged to a sketch comedy group for a few years here in LA. I also write and produced my own comedy web series. Yet, it is still hard for me to share. I feel that my writing is not good enough, not funny enough, not compelling. No one will "get me" or my humor. It's scary. And I am very insecure about it.
Tonight, I took a leap of faith. I took a play that I wrote for myself (beginning over a decade ago) and invited some actor friends over to my house and asked them to play the parts in a play reading. It was scary. After all, this character was initially based on me. His words and thoughts are mine. The bad first dates he talks about are actual first dates that I had.
But would this subject matter mean anything to anyone? Is my idea interesting or clever enough for anyone other than me? Can I write a joke line? This scares me because this means that not only can I not write something that speaks to other people, but maybe I shouldn't be writing at all.
So. Guess what happened? It worked. The lines flowed. The dialogue was real and natural. The laughs came where I wanted them. There's a real heart to the story and the romance at the center of it. And everyone involved liked it.
Oh My God! Can this be? My writing is good. No. Not mine. The voices in my head have been telling me for years that I am no good at this. I suck. Sharing this script will reveal things about my personal life that will lead others to think I'm sad and pathetic. Yes, that is what goes through my head.
It's time to tell those voices "Be Gone!" This is a good idea for a story. It is funny and heart warming too. These characters are funny and interesting and I did a good job of writing this. Why did I wait so long to share this? I'm an idiot!
Now, its not perfect. I got some good notes on things that could be added or tightened up a bit. But basically it moves along at a good clip and there's not too much extra happening. I get right to it.
And all I can say is thank you to all my wonderful friends who came and did such a great job of bringing these characters off the page and to life. You brought the funny and you brought the heart. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You've given me a new hope. Hey! That should be the title of a movie. A New Hope. Hmmm. Has anyone ever though of that?
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